UP AGAINST IT IN NIGERIA

BY

LANGA LANGA I

UP AGAINST IT IN NIGERIA

BY

LANGA LANGA

WITH 47 ILLUSTRATIONS

LONDON: GEORGE ALLEN & UNWIN LTD. RUSKIN HOUSE, 40 MUSEUM STREET, W,C. j

3>T

First ■published in ig22

To those who have allowed me to pillage their albums for photographs, let me here- with record my gratitude. To my fellow exiles generally in the Outposts, who have made life possible by that indispensable possession, a sense of humour, and to those of them who have passed out of man's sight in particular,

I DEDICATE THESE MEMOIRS

PEEFACE

This book does not purport to be a text-book on Nigeria : still less does it lay claim to any of the literary virtues. Of its very nature it could not, an' it would, command a large reading public. Let there be no misconception about that. It is not even meticulous in its accuracy, being written from memory — a West African memory at that — and unassisted by referenda.

Chiefly for my own amusement, partly inspired by the time-honoured cliche at the " Scotch Club " : " if only one took the trouble to write these things down, what amusing reading they would make ! " I set myself to jot down my experiences of ten years — it seemed a pity that they should all "go West," for they cover most parts of the Nigerian compass.

In doing so I found myself gradually writing what Bos well or Lander would have called a journal, but what I prefer to describe as a "small-chop" diary — that is to say, a collection of incidents, in more or less chronological order, written, as they would have been told, at the witching hour of small-chop, with scarce a camouflage of persons or localities. In these reminiscences questions of Administration have been left severely alone.

8 PREFACE

" But this is all very ordinary stuff which might have happened to anyone ! " it may be exclaimed. So much the better. It will then convey, I hope, a reasonable picture of the life of the average Political Officer in its essential features in this country as it was, is, and, in spite of the Railway and Political Memoranda, ever shall be. From it the newcomer may pick up a wrinkle or two between the lines : while the " old bird " may look backwards, and take it, as it is meant, not unkindly.

I shall probably be accused of " coming the old coaster " in my allusions to " those days," and " that time " ; but it must be remembered that men and things die and change out here with remarkable rapidity, and that 1918 is as far removed from 1908 in Nigeria as 1908 is from 1838 in the civilized world. Nobody gets more irritable than I do with the prosy gentlemen who refer to the events of " nought four " and " nought six " and so on, as if they were speaking of some landmark in the Dark Ages, or an old vintage. And yet how many of those cheery bush-whackers we knew so recently as nought anything are alive to-day ! Not too many — certainly not 40 per cent, of the characters mentioned in this book — and those who are, if we may believe the West African Pocket-book, are so solely by virtue of the drinks they have not, and the quinine they have taken — in my own case some 21,000 grains !

LANGA LANGA. Nigeria, 1921.

CONTENTS
Preface ....	PAGE . 7
CHAPTBB I. Bauchi .	. 15
II. Bauchi {continued)	24
III. Bauchi {continued)	39
IV. Bauchi {continued)	53
V. Naraguta	66
VI. BORNU	. 89
VII. BoRNU {continued)	. 107
VIII. BoRNU {continued)	. 121
IX. Hobs d'CEuvbes Varies	. 151
X. The Falaba	. 168
XI. YOLA AND IlORTN	. 186
XII. Ilorin . . .	. 212

10 CONTENTS

AQ

Appendix A. " Suli Yola " . . . 231

Appendix B. Appreciation of the late

W. B. Thomson . . 239

Appendix C. Appreciation of the late

P. A. Benton . . 242

Appendix D. Sketch Map of Nigeria, SHOWING Principal Routes Travelled . . Facing p. 244

ILLUSTRATIOlSrS

FACING PAGE

POIJNG UP THE RIVER BENUE . . .16

(S. H. P. Vereker)

A HAUSA GIRL . . . . .16

(K. V. ElpMnstone)

"THE general" . . . .32

(W. p. Hewby) "peter" in ENGLAND . . , .32

SULI YOLA . . . . .36

(M. C. Greene)

BISALLA . . . . . .36

POLLARD LOADING UP THE " MENAGERIE " . 42

SOME TROPHIES . . . . .42

MORE TROPHIES . . . . .64

W. B. THOMSON . . . . .94

GEORGE SECCOMBE AND TRAP . . .94

{P. de Putron)

THE CEMETERY, MAIDUGURI . . .98

(TF. P. Hewby)

U

12 ILLUSTRATIONS

PACING PAGB

MEMORIAL TABLET TO "THE GENERAL" . 98

W. P. HEWBY, C.M.G. . . . .100

THE SHEHU OF BORNU . . . .100

(P. cLe Putron)

A "EARIN GINDl" .... 108

(P. de Putron)

BUDUMA CANOES ON LAKE CHAD . .108

(P. de Putron)

A KANURI WOMAN . . . .112

{K. V. ElphinstoTie)

A LAKE CHAD POLO-CLUB GROUP . .118

(P. de Putron)

MY (later DE P.'s) TRAP . . .118

(P. de Putron)

"piccin" . . . . .124

the start from geidam for gujba . .124

ivories and foot of big elephant . . 138

melbourne inman and " ivories " of rogue

elephant ! . . . .138

( the ostrich farm . . . .142

(P. de Putron)

DISTRICT officer's HOUSE, MAIDUGURI . .142

(P. de Putron)

ILLUSTRATIONS

13

THE SUBMARINE .

TAKING TO THE BOATS .

NO. 6 BOAT DIVING FROM THE DAVITS

NO. 1 BOAT IN TROUBLE

MORE TROUBLE .

THE STEAM-DRIFTER EILEEN EMMA

THE CREW OF THE EILEEN EMMA

{.TJit above seven photos by courtesy of the Daily Mirror)

NIGER IDOLS

(X>. Orocombe)

A NUPE GIRL ....

(K. V. Elphinstone)

JEBBA BRIDGE BEFORE COMPLETION

(iS. M. Grier)

THE GUARD OF HONOUR.

{B. Sutherland)

ARRIVAL OF HIS EXCELLENCY'S TRAIN .

(B. Sutherland)

HIS EXCELLENCY INSPECTING RELICS OF

DAYSPBING

(B, Sutherland)

JUJU ROCK ....

(JB. Sutherland)

FACING PAGE

. 168

. 170

. 176

. 196

. 198

. 200

THE

. 202

14 ILLUSTRATIONS

FACING PAGE

TAME REEDBUCK AT ILORIN . . . 204

JEBBA BRIDGE COMPLETED . . . 204

(B. Sutherland)

SMALL-POX JUJU WORSHIPPERS UNDER ARREST 224

(A. H. Discomhe)

TRIAL OF THE DELINQUENTS . . . 224

(A. H. Discombe)

PUBLIC DESTRUCTION BY FIRE OF SMALL-POX

FETISHES ..... 224

{A. H. Discombe)

"pansy" and "adam". . . . 226

(K. V. Elpliinstone)

SERGEANT-MAJOR GARUBA, ILORIN POLICE . 226

(S. W. Walker)

CHAPTER I BAUCHI

Probably nobody has ever left the bosom of his family more reluctantly and with less desire for " travel " than I did on Christmas Day, 1908. There was no dinner served on the restaurant train from Euston ; and the porter at Lime Street, when he heard that West Africa was my desti- nation, said " God 'elp you ! "

I, with my spaniel " Peggy," was apparently the sole occupant of the North- Western Hotel that Christmas night, and as a special privilege she was allowed to share my bedroom. We were driven on Boxing Day by a stale-drunk cabman through a funereal Liverpool fog to the Wharf, and sailed on the Dakar (Captain Lawson) the same afternoon. At about the same moment a not un-remote relative of mine was paying the penalty of his recent adoption as Parliamentary candidate by kicking off a football, in a similar drizzle, in some purlieu of Croydon. I remember wondering which of us felt the brighter.

There were only sixteen first-class passengers

on board, and the voyage, but for a furious tossing

in the Bay of Biscay, was uneventful. Stone, ^

a subaltern with whom I afterwards travelled

1 Now Brigadier-General.

15

16 THE JOYS OF BURUTU

as far as Ibi, was the only other officer on board bound for Northern Nigeria. As there were no electric fans in those days, the cabins after Sierra Leone became not unlike ovens, in which one was gently fried. We made Forcados on the 12th of January, and it was my luck that this should be the last steamer to stand off the Bar, and tranship her passengers and freights on to the branch boat. All subsequent boats passed over the Bar into Forcados harbour. On this occasion we lay off in a mist, while the branch boat hunted for us, to the melancholy accompani- ment of the bell-buoy on the Bar. We were then lowered in mammie chairs into surf-boats, and paddled, wet and dejected, to the branch boat, which in turn transferred us to the river stern-wheeler, Sarota, in almost pitch darkness at Burutu.

The lights were not working, and our chop- boxes being in the hold, we had to go to bed empty but for a small tot of brandy, very kindly provided by a Roman Catholic missionary, who had come on board. These Fathers are noted for their hospitality, and their Mission is the most, if not the only, practical one in West Africa. The misery of the newly arrived exile at Burutu is a byword — and I will not enlarge on the dismal subject. It is from Burutu that some drunkards have dated their original fall. I had my share of misery, what with the attentions of the Customs, who relentlessly tore from one duty on cases of liquor, which turned out afterwards to have been broken, or broached, to vanishing point, the

POLING UP THE EIVER BENUE,

A HAUSA GIRL.

BAUCHI 17

inability to find anything one wanted, and of course the usual difficulty with " boys."

In this connection coming events did indeed cast their shadow before them when a German trader, who was travelling to Onitsha, said to me deprecatingly : " Vy vorry apout your poys ? I alvays bromise my poy von bound on arrival at Onidsha, and ven I gets there I kick him out vidout nothings." A scrap of paper, in fact.

Stone, by the way, handed me over one of his boys, " Yaro," ^ who has been with me, off and on, as boy, cook, and finally courier, ever since.

When we had managed to dig a few provisions, and odds and ends, out of the hold, we had a comparatively peaceful and comfortable voyage of six days, thanks largely to the kindness of Stone, without whom I should have been lost, for I was horribly green (witness my endeavours to fit a filter-candle into a sparklet-syphon) — as are most poor devils on their first arrival.

Never did I make a bigger error than in suppos- ing that Lokoja would be the end of my troubles, and that I should there be met and instructed in my new path of life. Far from it. Not a soul met me, nobody knew anything about me, nor did anyone apparently care. It being Sunday, I was strongly advised not to disturb the " Cant. Mag." (I vaguely wondered whether this had any connection with Mag. Sulph.), as he was having a siesta, and was a liverish gentleman withal. He was, and his liver was not the only portion of him that was unduly swollen. Fortu-

^ Since dead.

2

18 AT LOKOJA

nately Stone was good enough to get me made an hon. member of the W.A.F.F.^ Mess. I spent ten days in the Beach Rest-house at Lokoja, going for my meals to the Mess, where I met, among others. Colonel Mackenzie (" Festive Mac "), in command, and, besides many others who have since answered the call, Coghan, a friend and brother officer of my brother Guy. I was intro- duced to him in a curious way. I was walking across the polo ground with " Peggy," when I passed an officer who exclaimed : " Hallo, ' Bramble ' ! " Now, " Bramble " was " Peggy's " mother, and on inquiry the officer, who turned out to be Coghan, explained that he was in my brother's battery in Ireland, and knew " Bramble " well ! He and I used to knock a polo ball about together, this being my first introduction to that game of games.

In those days every new Political Officer, on arrival at Lokoja, before leaving for his station, had to pass an examination in Revenue Suspense Account, i.e. the method by which tribute in kind is brought to account as cash.

This exam puzzled the life out of me, as I think it did most people, till later on, when I was actually confronted with the real problem. One officer who sat for this exam with me got a Treasury clerk to do his papers for him, and then took an ignominious plough ! The Treasurer being the examiner, this is not without its humour.

On the same day. Stone and I got our orders to proceed to Yola and Bauchi respectively. We 1 West African Frontier Force.

BAUCHI 19

set forth together up the Benue in the Quail, a steel barge poled by eight men, and followed by- two wooden canoes containing our loads. I should add that I was forced to spend a small fortune on provisions from the Niger Company, having left England with nothing but two cases of whisky and six of eatables. Information at home as to what one really required was singularly lacking in those days. Niagara, Nigeria, Algeria, and — I was going to say — Malaria were but faintly differentiated between. I was further hampered with thirty cases of ammunition for the troops at Bauchi, relative to which I never seemed to cease signing manifests.

The journey, which lasted seventeen days, though teeming with interest to a novice, was a singularly unpleasant one, for the heat was typical of January by day, while the mosquitoes were unbearable by night. Try as I would, I could not keep them out of my net : and even the old stager, Stone, said he had never known them quite so bad. " Peggy " used to barge her way into my bed, which added to the discomfort.

South of Abinsi we settled to give the polers a day's rest, and go shooting. I had, of course, never done any " beef " shooting before, and was naturally very excited. To my great delight I shot my first kob (" mariya "), and later four others — with five consecutive shots. I have never shot so well since ! It was unnecessarily greedy of me, I know : but I was young and ignorant, and anyhow there were no complaints by the polers, who made short work of the meat. Stone

20 **KURDI YA KARRE "

had bad luck, and we were both very exhausted when we got back to the barge. The only other shooting we had was at crocodiles, except aiming- drill at Stone's cook's mate, an amusing individual who thoroughly enjoyed dodging the little '22 bore (dashed me by Coghan) with which we pre- tended to practise on him, as he ran with great sagging strides across the sandbanks on which we used to camp.

We at length made Ibi, the poler's Portsmouth, where, not having seen women for seventeen days, our crew disappeared en bloc for twenty-four hours. Next day, having purchased a grey horse of sorts, and bade Stone a regretful good-bye, I crossed the river with my convoy, including a police escort for the boxes of ammunition, and made my preparations for a thirteen days' overland trek to Bauchi.

At Giddan Sarkin Kudu I got a very fine kob, and marked the place down as a hunting ground to be thoroughly covered on my return journey. The road was a horribly bad one ^ — a mere bush path. On arrival at Wase the carriers, who had had an advance at Ibi to cover the whole journey, began the usual story that their money had finished, that they always rested two days at Wase : that " other Turawa ^ did this and that," etc. These pitiful tales might have made some impression upon me had it not been for the fact that / was equally upon the rocks in the matter of cash.

Since closed down, as the official route to Bauchi. White men.

BAUCHI 21

The Government make it — or did make it then — deHghtfuUy impossible for a newly appointed officer to draw any money for a very long time after his arrival, though he might be actually entitled to one, or even two, months' salary. The various Treasurers looked at one stonily, and the following conversation, more or less, usually ensued : —

Newly Appointed Officer. " Good morning ! Er — could you let me have my January pay ? "

Treasurer. " Where is your L.P.C. ? "

N.A. Officer. " I beg your pardon — my what ? "

Treasurer. " Last Pay Certificate."

N.A. Officer. " I'm afraid I still don't quite grasp . . ."

Treasurer (bored). " Certificate showing the last time you drew pay."

N.A. Officer. " But there is no last time : I have not even begun to draw any."

Treasurer. " Well, I will wire the Treasurer Zungeru. You can call again in a day or two."

In the meanwhile one is probably ordered off to one's station before the reply comes, and goes through the same farce at the next sub-treasury. In my own case the answer did come, but to the effect that " L.P.C. had been forwarded to Bauchi " ; and I had to be satisfied with " Local Allowance " ^ to date, i.e. ten days at 2s. It will be gathered therefore that the appeals of the carriers fell on very stony ground, and we

1 Local Allowance was originally 5s. per diem ; it then dwindled, as living grew more expensive, by Is. each year to nil. It was at 2s. when I arrived.

22 EARLY VICISSITUDES

proceeded on our journey. I endeavoured, from now onwards, to assume the attitude of a man who had thousands to disgorge, an' he would, but was not going to be jockeyed. I had as a matter of fact some 10s. 6d.

The man who carried " Peggy " in a box com- plained that she was always shifting about, and that he could carry her no further. Of this again I took no notice, and I soon found that the best remedy for these complaints is either to ignore or laugh at them. Nine times out of ten they are only a try on.

But the source of far greater anxiety to me was the (genuine) lameness of one of the Police escort, Umoru, who was utterly unable to walk any further. It had been impressed upon me that any mishap to the ammunition would be visited on my head, if it transpired that I had omitted a single technical detail in respect of the guard ; and here I was one man short, and six days from the nearest station. I took therefore what seemed to me to be the only course, and mounted him on my horse, while I foot-slogged the rest of the journey ! Ingenuous me ! But I was rewarded years afterwards at Maiduguri, when Umoru — ^now re-enlisted in the W.A.F.F. — pre- sented himself at my house, reminded me of the incident, and begged me to accept two fowls and a calabash of eggs. Gratitude is a rara avis in this country, kindness being almost always looked upon as a sign of stupidity or softness (" lafiya " ^).

1 The easy-going man is generally nicknamed by the Hausa " Mailafiya."

BAUCHI 23

On the thirteenth day I arrived at Bauchi — it being just two months and ten days since I left Liverpool. I was not sorry, for I was tired of trekking, and the carriers were in a riotous condition, chiefly due to losses at Cha-cha. ^ Bauchi was a restful, Palestinian-looking town, walled all round, and connected by a fine main road (made by the Hon. Oliver Howard, Resident, who had just died under tragic circumstances) to the European station. Captain Lewis had taken over, recently. Murphy Moran was O.C. Troops, Forbes the gunner, Bissell the Doctor, and Wight- wick, from whom I was to take over, the Assistant Resident, as we were then called. The last-named was particularly kind (I have forgiven him for inducting me to my new office with a book of G.S.O.'s !), and it has been my pleasurable lot either to hand over to, or take over from, him on several occasions since. A man who could put his fingers on essentials, and hand or take over easily and without fuss — not, as many I have known, like one old maid letting her house to another. My quarters consisted of a miserable bush hovel— its gloom ungladdened as yet by the half-crown dole — and in it I lived for the next sixteen months.

^ The national game of chance.

CHAPTER II

BAUGHI — continued

We were a very happy family at Bauchi. We used to forgather at the " Scotch Club " (so called because everyone brought his own drinks) at about 6 p.m. This hour was generally sig- nalled by Forbes (" Hell-fire Jack ") roaring for his boy, and the cross-examination of his steward by Lewis ^ — better known as " Louise " — with monocle screwed in tight, and finger wagging, as it were the digit of destiny.

" Allah Kai ! Last night this bottle was full ! "

" Yes, Sah ! but for lunch "

" Allah Kai ! You lie ! "

This was a favourite expression of Louise, and from my office, which was below his living-room, I have often heard something like the following brisk conversation :

" Allah Kai ! You have had your fingers in the jam ! " (or sugar).

" No, Sah ! I tink de small boy "

" Allah Kai ! You lie ! Call the small boy ! " Pause.

" Small boy ! You have had your fingers in the jam."

^ Killed in Gallipoli. He had been a subaltern in the 21st Lancers at Omdurman.

BAUCHI 26

*' No, Sah ! I tink prafs de big boy-

" Small boy ! You lie ! Orderly ! Kawo bulala ! " 1

The unfortunate small boy always got it in the neck in the end, and always frantically ap- pealed as a last resource for Momodu to be allowed to administer justice. Momodu was the interpreter, a soft-hearted, hideous little man, who wouldn't and couldn't hurt a fly. He is immortalized in the verse which Major Festing ^ once telegraphed to Louise, after asking for and being peremptorily refused the services of Momodu. The lines ran, as far as I can remember, like this :

Why unnecessary ire ?

Hakka nan na buga waya :'

Rather than that you should fret,

You shall keep your marmoset.

Keep your temper, little Loo,

Likewise keep your Momodu.

Poor peppery little Louise ! The warmest- hearted and most hospitable little gentleman that ever lived. He and Murphy Moran travelled home together that tour, and a stage or two from Ibi, in spite of Murphy's warnings, Louise took his own line of country {" short cut " he termed it) — with the result that he got badly bushed, and staggered into camp after a thirty mile trek in the last state of exhaustion. Murphy, who was genuinely concerned for him, stood at the door ready for him with a stiff whisky and

1 " Bring a whip." 2 KJHed in Gallipoli.

' " Thus I wire you."

26 "LOUISE" AND MURPHY

sparklet, and a face which evidently betrayed his anxiety. Louise gave him one steady look, then, raising the finger of fate, he said : " Murphy ! If you had so much as smiled, I would have shot you ! " Murphy subsequently sent us a rag diagram of Louise's peregrinations — each swamp, or tangle being labelled with the expletive sup- posed to have been used by Louise at every fresh misfortune. Thus : " Corpus Christi ! Bog." " Muckheap ! Ravine," etc.

These two were admirable foils to one another. On a previous occasion on the same journey, when they were about to tackle a swollen river in a rickety Berthon canoe, there was an argu- ment as to whether they should cross together or singly, and, if singly, who should go first. The discussion became heated, and Murphy, with a twinkle in his eye, raised the question of seniority ! This was too much for Louise, who threw his cup of tea at him, and then said : " Now, Murphy, you may kill me ! "

The latter, placidly wiping the Mazawattee from his bush-shirt, replied : " No, my dear horse, you are not worth it ! " They were the best of pals really, and their little tilts were the joy of the Scotch Club.

About this time my cook, an impudent rasca. and useless at his job, thought fit to cut onions into strips, mix them with apricot jam, and then serve the lot up to me encased in an omelette. I had him up and inquired whether this was meant for a sweet or savoury omelette. The cook, who prided himself on his knowledge of

BAUCHI 27

culinary nomenclature, hesitated. I informed him that, if it was any comfort to him to know it, it did not in the least signify which it was, as in either case he could consider himself sacked. He cleared off, and went straight to Louise to complain, accompanied by my two boys, who felt it incumbent upon them to indulge in a sympathetic strike. I had already become more philosophic about such occurrences, and while I leisurely versified my bereavement, and sent it off to the Sporting Times, the cook was having a very rough ten minutes with Louise, who never did things by halves. " You lie ! I charge you with attempting to poison your master, and the

two boys with aiding and abetting in that "

but before he had finished the peroration " cookoo " had effaced himself for good and all, and the boys were humbly begging to be readmitted to the fold. Which they were — at a price.

The chief amusement at Bauchi were occa- sional tennis, a ride round the town, or a " barewa " (Senegal gazelle) shoot. Every Saturday night Louise used to give a station dinner, followed by poker. A favourite dish of his was mutton chops, which I used to find infernally tough and pass surreptitiously under the table to " Peggy."

In May, the Inspector-General, General Mor- land,^ paid a visit with his Staff, including Colonel Strickland,^ Jenkins,^ and Pragnell. Louise put

^ Later Commander-in-Chief, Rhine Army of Occupation.

* Later commanding Cork Division, and so incidentally adding to his already wide experience of Pagan tribes.

• Later Colonial Secretary, Barbados.

28 NIGERIAN TACT

up the dinner, I think. The General was an early bed-goer, and retired betimes to his quarters in Louise's bungalow, outside which we were dining. It had been impressed upon us that he was a light sleeper and that we should talk quietly and not disturb him. The conversation waxed convivial and louder no doubt than we realized — being punctuated periodically by one or other of us saying with owlish solemnity : " Hush ! We mustn't wake the General ! "

Next morning at breakfast, the General ob- served to Louise drily, but not unkindly, " I much appreciate the efforts not to wake me last night .' " " A " Company got the efficiency prize whatever.

" Peggy," who was standing the climate well, and never missed a meal, gave birth to four puppies in July. Three died, but the fourth, " Piccin," was a gem, and survived three further tours and four leaves with me. Of her more anon.

As far as I can remember it was about now that Walter Wethered,^ practically the pioneer of the Tin movement, arrived in the country. I say " practically " because the Niger Company had been established already for some time at Naraguta under Laws ^ and Archibold, two of the toughest and best ; while another gentle- man (who shall be nameless) who had sailed with Wethered, had short-headed the latter, and arrived in Bauchi alone.

1 Died at Jos, 1914.

« Colonel H. W. Laws, C.M.G., D.S.O. (who was directly responsible for the blowing up of the Messines Ridge).

BAUCHI 29

Louise was away for the week-end, and this gentleman tried to bounce me into giving him an advance of £50 out of Treasury funds. The power of attorney, however, which he flourished off-handedly before me, being a joint one, I sug- gested that the matter should stand over till the arrival of Walter Wethered, who was pounding gallantly away on a bicycle not far behind. But for good reasons of his own our friend seemed as disinclined to wait for Wethered, as he was anxious to push on to Juga, where he had " busi- ness to attend to " (sic). I cashed him (privately) a cheque for £3, which was subsequently " re- ferred to drawer," and he passed lightly on his way.

Next day Walter Wethered rolled in — a real good sportsman of the old school — well the other side of fifty, but full of life and good stories. He very soon explained how matters stood, made a singularly accurate forecast as to the fate of the cheque, and refunded me the cash on the spot. The meeting of Wethered, the nameless one, and Huddart ^ (Government Inspector of Mines) at Juga was, I believe, a very piquant affair !

The nameless one — no, he shall be called for convenience Weller — returned to Bauchi indignant, self-righteous, but unabashed, and made himself quite at home. He dashed me some topazes, but made no allusion to the cheque. At the Scotch Club he regaled us with his past achieve- ments, and very early on I saw Murphy prick ^ Died in German East Africa,

30 EXPLOITS OF WELLER

up his ears, and that alert look came into his eye which presaged danger for the unwary.

Weller made his first slip when he spoke of " his brother in the cavalry." Murphy, in the language of the Courts, at once rose to cross- examine. " What was his regiment ? " Weller " really couldn't remember, it was so long ago, but he rather thought it was the Coldstream ! " I saw Murphy settle himself in his chair, and prepare for further fun.

The second howler — or rather series of how- lers— was an unfortunate allusion to his expe- rience in Russia. Now Murphy was a much- travelled man.

" Have you ever done the run from St. Peters- burg to Vladivostock ? " he inquired simply, puffing away at his pipe.

" Often," replied the undaunted Weller.

" How long did you take ? " pursued Murphy relentlessly.

"Well," said Weller, "I couldn't really say now. I remember I got rather bored with the business."

" Did you go via Smolensk ? "

" Let me see, I do seem to remember an official of some sort calling for tickets at some such place."

" Did you get a good view of Teheran ? "

" Well, you know, I slept most of the time : I did not really look."

" No," retorted Murphy quietly. " You get a better view of it, of course, in Persia \ "

And so on.

BAUCHI 31

But your real liar has no sense of shame or defeat, and Weller made tracks for Ibi perfectly content with himself and the world — not before, however, he had palmed off on the colour-sergeant a case of inferior whisky under a false and fashion- able label, at a correspondingly false and fashion- able price, and taken a sovereign off the native gaoler in advance for two bottles of ditto which never materialized at all.

His deeds of glory were in no way confined to Bauchi. I believe that at Ibi he disposed of such baubles as camp equipment, saddlery, crockery, etc. — ^paid for out of the coffers of his Syndicate — for a mere trifle — paid into the coffers of Weller — and finally distinguished himself by borrowing a horse from an officer up at the Lokoja Mess, and selling it to a trader the same day.

One day an armourer-sergeant rolled up to my office. His carriers had evidently got out of hand on the road, and pulled his leg properly.

" I wish," he said pompously, " to report these 'ere labourers for intimidating of the populace, and creating terror in the villages. Might I ad- dress the labourers, sir ? "

" Certainly," I replied, and had them lined up.

" Ku jai " (sic) ^ he began, ** Er — ku jai da

kyaow (sic) " Pause, which I presumed was

intended to render his next remarks more effec- tive. " Ku jai," he began again, " er — might I 'ave an interpreter, sir ? "

Sic transit gloria linguae !

* He meant " Kun ji : Kun ji da kyau," which may be translated freely : " Look here now, just understand this 1 "

32 "THE GENERAL"

Walton, the Police officer, had a yarn about a similar sort of amateur linguist, who presented himself one day to register his rifle. " I 'ave 'ere," he said, " a weapon. Martini 'Enery, by Mr. Martini 'Enery, Niger Company weapon." He was subsequently overheard in a partition of the Rest-house addressing affable but wine- inspired salutations to the passing ladies thus : " Sanu mata ! Sanu da kyaow (sic) ! Ka ji mata ! Ka ji dakyaow ! " His vocabulary carried him no further, apparently. But I am diverging. Louise and Murphy went on leave in August, the latter being relieved by Cecil Gibb, and Louise by Major (Brevet-Colonel) Augustus Mclin- tock, D.S.O. Mclintock, universally known by the natives as " Maidoronyaki," and by his friends as " The General," was one of the most notable characters in the country. A delightful Irishman, with a slight lisp and an inexhaustible supply of blarney, he would prove without effort that black was white, and then clinch the argument with " And that'th God'th truth ! "

It was a pleasure to work under a man like the General, for he was big both in mind and body, without the flatulent self-importance as- sumed by so many in his position with far less justification. While he could mete out, if occa- sion demanded, a telling off which made itself felt, he was not above doing some real spade work himself; and I have known him at tax time sit at my table for three successive days helping to count thousands of pounds' worth of threepences and sixpences.

•'THE GENERAL.'

"peter" in ENGLAND.

BAUCHI 33

This, by the way, was I believe actually the first year that we had taken the whole tax in cash, instead of a portion in mats and cowries. We had a store bulging with the latter, and from this I had paid off the General's one hundred odd carriers (vide p. 18, " Revenue Suspense Account "), without making any perceptible hole in it. They were an infernal nuisance, 5s. being roughly a donkey's load ; and it was a ridiculous spectacle to see the entire native staff assiduously counting a shilling ! ^ Cowries were no longer legal tender, and of course discountenanced, but even now the market folk cling to them, and conduct their petty transactions through their medium.

The General was a devotee of the Turf, and racing held first place among the many things we had in common. Common interests are an invaluable asset in a lonely station. Having a boy called Mustapha, he backed the runner-up of the Cambridgeshire two years in succession !

He was not without his vanities. Every month he used to have his clothes, shirts, socks, etc., put out to air, and frequently would invite my inspection. " Very smart suit that ! " he would say, or : " Damned dadi ^ boots those, especially with the spats ! I can tell you I'm not by a long chalk the worst-dressed person at Goodwood — and that'th God'th truth ! " Yet, with it all, he was one of the finest soldiers in the country. " I would follow that man through Hell ! " Murphy (himself a lion amongst men) once observed.

1 1,600 to 2,000 cowries went to the shilling : 4,000 at the time of writing. 2 piausa for " nice," or " chic."

3

34 "PETER"

One morning Malam Duguri, the General's gardener, came to me and asked permission to borrow my '22 rifle. "A beef," he said, was " humbugging the farm." I was about to send for the weapon, when it occurred to me to ask him what sort of beef it was that was causing the trouble. With an ill-suppressed chuckle he hastily withdrew from my office, whereupon I realized that he was referring to my little pet duiker (" gada "), and that the General had put him up to pulling my leg.

The latter was devoted to animals, and if I rode to the town of an evening, my various pets used to play about round his chair till my return. " Peter," the duiker, was a great character, and used to follow the boys to the market, and pinch green food off the market women, much to their annoyance. It would eat anything that it was offered, and even stand up on its little hind legs and take a cigarette out of my mouth. It subsequently lived and thrived, worshipped by the ladies, at my home in England for three years.

I have not mentioned, I think, that apart from my political duties, I was acting District Superintendent of Police ^ and Deputy Sheriff, Walton, the actual holder of those offices, being stationed for political reasons with the bulk of the detachment at Naraguta. In September it was my lot, as Deputy Sheriff, to carry out my first execution. The miscreant, acting on instruc- tions received — so he told the court in his de- 1 Now Assistant Commissioner of Police.

BAUCHI 35

fence — from Allah during the night, had battered his mother's head in.

On the day previous to the execution the General instructed me to inform the doomed man that the sentence would be carried out next morning, and to inquire whether he desired to make any sort of will or leave any message for his folk at home. I duly interviewed him through the medium of a scribe, and he repUed as follows :

" There only were three of us : my brother died last month, / killed the old woman, and you are going to kill me. What is the good of a will ? "

Next morning, at half past seven, we repaired to the condemned cell, where the prisoner — cer- tainly the most unmoved individual present — greeted us with the usual " Zaki ! " His arms having been pinioned and the grizzly knot ad- justed, he was led up on to the scaffold, and, without a sign of flinching, dispatched into eternity. The General, chafing to be quit of the drab per- formance, shouted to the gaoler (whose name was Isaac) : " Jacob, my friend, that'th damned badly done ! I've a good mind to puth you through too ! "

And here it may be observed that, however accurately the drop has been regulated, unless the knot is adjusted exactly behind the angle of the lower jaw, the noose will slip, and death will ensue from strangulation instead of dislocation.^

1 A distinction postulated by humanity, but not, as a matter of fact, by the wording of the death-sentence.

36 DUTIES OF A SHERIFF

These were comparatively primitive days ; the gallows was sometimes a tree ; and one had to test the drop and the rope, as best one could, with sacks of grain. All these are gruesome details, but anything which adds to the sum total of human knowledge is worth placing on record for the benefit of others who {SXolto) may be similarly placed one day.

A second execution took place shortly after- wards, and on this occasion the wretch, who had shot his victim with a poisoned arrow, offered me, at the usual interview, £1,000 to desist from my sinister purpose on the morrow ! On in- quiries, I learnt from the scribe that the man possessed " ko toro " ^ and next morning justice took its course. He was on the verge of col- lapse when the bolt was released.

Isaac, by the way, was not much in front of an illiterate, but at least a tryer. Inspecting the prison register one day, I came across the following three consecutive entries :

Name.	Previous Occupation.	Distinctive Marks.
Audu	Thief	Same old pox marks
Rufai	King	Do. do. do.
Mai	Cannibal	Not so much marked scratch on belly

One of the causes celebres of this year at Bauchi was the burglary, during a raging tornado, of the post office, and the subsequent confession and trial of one, Suli Yola. The full story was published in the May (1915) number of Black- 1 Not even 3d.

BAUCHI 37

wood's Magazine, and I reproduce it in the form of an appendix (A) by the courtesy of the editor. In that article I did not give this gentleman credit for half his subsequent achievements, one of which landed him for good and all in Lokoja Gaol. Not quite for " good and all," for when I last passed through that station Beamish, who was then in charge, informed me, if I remember rightly, that he had escaped more than once since his incarceration.

During one of these adventures it is reported that he was nabbed by a trader, and confined in a tank, upon the lid of which the night watch- man was bid to sit in ceaseless vigil. This stratagem, however, presented no difficulty to Suli, who soon put his juju on the watchman, and escaped from his predicament. (Suli's juju was a quack nostrum consisting almost entirely of one ingredient — namely, the sheer terror he inspired in all who crossed his path. Vide the episode of the Police sergeant-major in Appendix A.) Beamish kindly gave me a photo of this celebrity,^ a copy of which I sent to Mr. Blackwood.

It was at Bauchi that I first made the ac- quaintance of the General's small boy, Bisalla, the whitest (metaphorically speaking) native I have ever come across. He was rescued at the age of seven from a slave caravan up Chad way by Mr. Hewby, who passed him on to the General, and after the latter's tragic death he came into

^ Greene, the Station-magistrate, has since informed me that Suli is now again a corporal in the W.A.F.F.'s ! and kindly supplied me with the photo reproduced in corroboration.

38 ORR RELIEVES THE GENERAL

my service, where he has been ever since. Having practically never known any father but the White- man, and only changed masters twice in fifteen years, he has been a singularly loyal and faithful servant ; and his visit to England with me in 1912 — a severe test of a boy's susceptibilities — left him quite unspoilt.

In October the General was relieved by Captain Charles Orr,^ and proceeded via Nafada to take over Bornu from Mr. Hewby, who was due for leave. Pollard (who had taken over in April from Bissell, as Medical Officer), Gibb, and I rode out with him as far as the town wall. A guard of honour had been posted by Gibb on the town road, at which the General seemed very much moved, and we were accompanied by the Emir and his entourage. We then bade him a sor- rowful farewell, and Gibb and Pollard never saw him again.

1 Now Colonial Secretary of Gibraltar.

CHAPTER III

BAUCHI — continued

Orr was as different from the General as two men could be. Whereas the General was im- pulsive, with not infrequent flashes of brilhance, Orr was methodical, and essentially sound. Any- one wishing to get a gi'ip of what we are " driving at," and how we went about it from the day we took over from the Royal Niger Compan)^ could not do better than study " the account of our stewardship," as Orr neatly terms it in his Making of Northern Nigeria. With a considerable experi- ence of secretariat work, he had had as rough a taste of the practical difficulties of administration as any man in the country when working single- handed as Resident in the early Zaria days. He had also given valuable assistance as a member of the Lands Committee in its investigation into the system of land tenure in Nigeria.

In November Walton became seriously ill : in fact, his life was hanging in the balance, when Doctor Emlyn, of the Church Missionary Society, arrived and pulled him through. I was therefore instructed to proceed to Naraguta, and take over the Police, prisoners, office, and stores, and transfer them to Bauchi. When I arrived there after four perfect moonlight marches, Walton was con-

39

40 ** BABA'S " GUARD OF HONOUR

valescent, and I spent a most enjoyable week with him. It was deUghtfully cold weather, the house was comfortable, with a good garden, and Walton knew how to do things well. What with putting the Police through their musketry, taking over the stores, and writing up the monthly accounts and vouchers,^ I was kept fully occupied without being overworked. Wightwick also used to pay us periodical visits from his Bukuru fastnesses.

Sir William (" Baba ") Wallace,^ who was at that time acting as Governor for Sir Percj^ Girouard, was just completing a visit to the Niger Company Mine, when I arrived, and was due to leave the following day. Walton asked me to turn out a guard of honour for him on the Zungeru road.

At 5.30 a.m. I rose, rode out with the men, and duly placed them in position. With teeth chattering with the early Plateau cold, I sat and waited for him. About seven o'clock Cocks, his private secretary, strolled up smoking a pipe. I asked him if Sir William was far behind. " More like two hours in front ! " quoth Cocks. " Baba is an early bird ! " I had to gallop ahead, and tamely inform Sir William what a fine guard he had missed ! I added that Captain Walton would be very sorry about this (I thought this was rather clever, as it shifted the responsibility from myself, and secured Walton a little cheap sympathy), and T remember his exact reply :

^ Required in triplicate in those days.

2 Died 1916. Vide also Imperial Library Series, British West Africa (Mockler Ferrjntnan), p. 269. Also Vandcleur's Campaigning on the Nile and Niger.

BAUCHI 41

" Tell the laddie not to worry about guards, but to hurry up and get well ! "

It was at cocktails the previous night with Baba that I first made the acquaintance of that best of hons gargons, Laws, manager of the Niger Company Mine, and chief consulting engineer to this, and later to most of the other companies. Tin was "in the air " just now, and at a dinner given by the last named I met Lush (who had come out to report on certain properties), Huddart, Walter Wether ed and Molyneux (nov/ established at Juga), and Maclaverty. But what a contrast was the lonely, picturesque, and peaceful Naraguta of that day to the pandemonium I found on my return next year !

During my stay I paid a flying visit to Ngel, in a futile effort to get a buffalo, and there enjoyed the unconscious hospitality of Carpenter, who was running an offshoot mine of the Niger Company. He was away on trek, and I camped in his quaint little grass house surrounded by cactus. On my return, I thought it wise to send " Peggy " back to Bauchi with the small boy, as another important domestic event was imminent ! I followed a day or two after with the Police and Walton's dogs and horses.

One of these dogs rejoiced in the name of " Smut." He was an amorous beast, and had for the last three weeks been conducting a love-affair at Bukuru — a distance of seventeen miles, which he would think nothing of covering in the day and returning at nightfaH. He was now consequently worn more into the resemblance of a toast-rack than a dog.

42 A DOUBLE EXECUTION

I arrived at Bauchi on Boxing Day, having spent Christmas alone at Katsenawa. I found Orr down with fever, and Colonel Mackenzie (" Costive Mac ") looking after him — himself to die of blackwater fever only a month later at Yola.

The compilation of the annual Police and Prison returns, without the aid of an inspector or a clerk (as one has now) in addition to my other work, had left me rather jaded after a continuous year in the office, and I was beginning to feel the effects. Orr now promised me that, if the M.O. would sanction a short extension of my tour, I might go off on a visit of inspection through the northern districts. Unfortimately I had a bad series of malarial ulcers, which lasted for a month ; and it was with some difficulty that I persuaded the M.O. to favour an extension.

In the meanwhile nothing of particular interest occurred, bar the double execution on the same day of two wretches who had for a long time been waiting confirmation of sentence. Orr was still seedy, and retired after the first murderer had expiated his crime, leaving me to dispatch the second.

Legion are the tales of executions in this coun- try, where it is in the very nature of things that comedy should link arms with tragedy. On one occasion in days of yore the story goes that the Police fell through the trap embracing the victim ; on another the rope broke,^ and the should-have-

1 I was a member of the Board of Inquiry into this affair. I remember reflecting that this was probably the only " in- quest " ever held as to how the victim came to be alive I

"¥t

POLLARD LOADING UP THE "MENAGERIE."

SOME TROPHIES.

BAUCHI 43

been deceased, when marched out for the second time a week later, together with a newly sen- tenced fellow prisoner, was heard explaining to his mate that there was only a bit of a jolt, and that last time he was back to lunch ! On yet another occasion a young Political Officer — new at the job, like myself, and horribly nervous — had made drops and tests and rehearsed the grim ordeal till he felt that nothing could go wrong. Nor did it, save for the noose, which, in a moment of temporary aberration, he had forgotten to put round the victim's neck ! Bathgate once witnessed the execution of an Asaba youth who burst into dance and song, the chorus of which ran : " Good- bye-oh ! I die-oh ! " ere he disappeared from view.

On February 24th I handed over " Peggy," " Piccin," and " Peter " to Pollard, who was kind enough to take them home for me, and we set forth on our respective ways — Pollard for England, I on my northern tour via Gombe to Hashidu where I had to investigate a land dis- pute, and on to Karia Wudufa.

I should explain that the latter town, situated in a corner bounded by Bauchi, Kano, and Warji, had sent to the General a very clear intimation that they would fight rather than pay tax. This tax was still outstanding.

Orr instructed me to investigate the grievances of this town, and, if I deemed fit, to reduce the tax originally imposed. It not unnaturally occurred to me to inquire mentally : " But how about it if they {a) refuse to pay at all ; {h) rub

44 MARCHING ORDERS

in their refusal with the poisonous end of an arrow ? " As a corollary to this query arose the question of an escort. I must add that this town had already previously put up a fight against the Police in Howard's ^ time ; and that I further had fresh in my mind the recent ambush and murder of Van Rennen ^ in the next province, and the escape by the skin of his teeth from a desperate situation by Foulkes in my own. But, being young and ingenuous, and not wishing to incur the suspicion of timidity, I kept my own counsel and said nothing. It was of course the old problem — the sense of ridicule (in the event of force not proving to be justified) conflicting with discretion. I am wiser now. Cui bono the maxim and the •303, if one is going to put oneself within arrow range ? Be that as it may, I set out with a light heart, and keenly enthusiastic at the prospect of good shooting in the Ninghi hinterland.

At Keffin lya, one of the stages of my trek to Gombe, I saw no less that seven hippopotami barging about a lake too deep to make shooting them profitable. A native of this town informed me that his grandfather used to squat in a bush by the river side of a night, and rip these mon- sters up the belly with a knife as they landed. He showed me the knife it was done with : a deadly weapon, but a brave man the wielder withal. Birds of all sorts were plentiful on this road, and I practically lived on them till my cartridges ran out.

1 The Hon. Oliver Howard died at Bauchi, September 1908.

2 Killed 1909.

BAUCHI 45

Having slept the night at Gombe, the seat of that Emir, I crossed the Gongola, and camped at Hashimiri. I here had to settle a dispute about farms between the Sarkin Hashimiri and the Sarkin Hashidu, two very grasping and semitic- looking gentlemen, who both appeared to be out for " something for nothing." Having patched up the palaver, I made them wring each other's hands ; but they looked as if they would far rather have wrung each other's necks.^

I proceeded thence north-west to the imposing town of Darazo, where the District Head met me, and did me handsomely — or rather his brother did, for the former was a dismal individual with a wry neck, who seemed to be unable or unwilling to open his mouth. I shot some fine marabout near here, and camped the next night in a tent in the bush. It was desperately hot at this time of year, and I simply stewed in the tent. That evening I struck a herd of hartebeest (" kanke "), and shot a very poor specimen.

I now passed along the southern border of Kano Province. I was struck by the primitive appear- ance of the people, who had, so they told me, never seen a white man before. It was intensely hot, very rough going, and I felt far from fit.

The next day or so brought me within a stage of Karia Wudufa, and I was informed here that that town was preparing to fight. I sent a message to the chief to say that I should camp at his town next day, and should expect wood, water,

1 Pembleton recently informed me that he was still "settling" this palaver in 1921 !

46 AN AWKWARD SITUATION

and provisions (the usual courtesy extended to any stranger by the humblest hamlet). I received no reply, nor, next day on my arrival at the place, was there anyone to meet me. The Madaki, District Head of these parts, had erected a rough grass rumpah for me, and here I camped. Wood and water, etc., had to be obtained from neigh- bouring villages who were loyal to the Madaki.

Karia Wudufa stood on a hill formed by tier upon tier of massive boulders, and honeycombed with caves. From one of these, about five o'clock that evening there emerged an elderly man, clad in a rough gown, who informed me that the town was divided into two parties, his own and the hostile faction under the chief. The present trouble, he said, was due to the chiefs of Manako and Warji having levied an annual tax on this unhappily placed town, in addition to that claimed by Bauchi. I informed him that I had come to discuss this very matter, and if possible remedy it. He produced a few shillings collected from his own quarter as an earnest of good faith, and volunteered to take me to the sarki's compound, but warned me that, at any sign of force on my part, bees would be loosed upon me.

Accompanied by this cheerful person, who called himself Sarkin Fada, and by my interpreter Jagaba, and with a revolver stuffed in my trouser pocket, I ascended the hill. I must confess at once that this was an obvious error on my part, for it was up to the chief to come and see me, and not to me to clamber up the rocks to see him.

On arrival at the summit, and turning to the

BAUCHI 47

right, we came into the market, and there a far from reassm'ing spectacle presented itself to me. A crowd of nude, forbidding-looking natives were grouped together, with bows and arrows in their hands, and pots of what I rightly took to be strophanthus — a deadly poison — by their sides.

There was no sign of greeting, and I had to open the conversation. I asked for their sarki, and was informed by a scowling ruffian that he was away on a visit. I then told them that I had come to discuss their grievances with them, but that I could not do so except thi'ough their chief, whom I knew to be concealing himself. They replied sullenly that if I would go away they would send some grain into Ba,uchi in lieu of tax. I declined this proposal, and informed them that their chief and elders must come, with the usual provisions, to my camp and discuss matters there. This suggestion was received in dead silence. With my back glued to the wall of a hut, and sweat- ing not a little, I remarked tentatively that " I did not wish to send for soldiers." (There was nothing on earth I wished to do so fervently at that moment !) A continued silence, however, showed me pretty clearly that the interview was at an end as far as they were concerned. I there- fore gave them till nine o'clock the next morning to come in or take the consequences, and proceeded on my return journey down the hill.

My courage was at zero, and my skin like goose- flesh as I passed each crevice and cave on the return journey. I reached camp, however, with- out mishap.

48 A WORSE PREDICAMENT

I have stated that I made an error in going to visit the folk of Karia Wudufa, instead of making them visit me. I now, in my naivete, made a second in not withdrawing to a friendly village, and insisting on the chief visiting me there. As it was, I thought such a step would be regarded as a sign of weakness by the natives and of " funk " by the Government ; so I decided to sleep where I was. Having no guard of any sort, the only precaution I could take was to post Jagaba and Rumfah to keep watch alternately at a point of vantage whence they could keep the town under observation, and to leave a lamp burning all night in my hut to give the impression that I was awake and on the alert. My camp, be it remembered, was almost within arrow range of the hill.

Next morning some of the elders came in and offered in half-hearted fashion to compound with two goats and a sack of grain. I told them I had not come to bargain, but to discuss their troubles : and this I would only do with their chief, who they now said was sick. Being tired of their prevarications, I kept five of them as hostages, and sent the sixth back with my ulti- matum that, unless their chief complied with my previous demands, I should send for troops. He never returned, and next day I wrote for an escort.

I now went down with a severe attack of dysen- tery, and was on my bed for three days in great pain and exhaustion. I was horribly short of food, and had no drugs of any sort bar quinine, while the sun simply sweltered through the thin grass roof. On the fourth day I received a letter

BAUCHI 49

from Duff, who was taking over from Orr, saying that he had appHed to headquarters for sanction for the patrol. Feehng a Httle better, and not rehshing the prospects of delay, as the lonely nights were getting on my nerves, I made my third error. I decided to take matters into my own hands.

At five o'clock that evening I resolved to distrain on the grain supply of the town, and realize it to cover the tax due. Giving Rumfah (an ex- police sergeant, Avho had had a previous fight with this town) my -450 double-barrel express, Jagaba my shot-gun, and myself armed with a •303 and a revolver, I paid my second visit to the town. Having posted my army of two on com- manding rocks, I summoned the Madaki's people and my labourers to come and carry the grain. The Sarkin Fada showed me where the bins (" rumbo ") were, and, as the inhabitants had retreated into their caves, operations proceeded smoothly enough.

At 6.15 p.m. I descended half way down the hill to call my boy to bring me writing materials, as I was now rather pleased with myself, and in- tended to countermand the escort. No sooner, however, had I left the brow of the hill than I heard the ominous boom of the '450, which was immediately followed by the bark of the shot- gun, and simultaneously a volley of arrows whistled past me. Two hit and bent against the rock on which I stood, and another pierced the singlet of the cook's mate, who was standing at my side, carrying my ammunition. He was very disgusted ! He had volunteered, with the main eve for possible

4

50 ATTACKED

loot, but now indignantly ejaculated : " Haba, kai ! Wanan ba wasa ba ne ! " ^

Shouting to my messengers and the rest to clear out at once, I emptied my magazine into the figures who were now swarming out of the caves and up the rocks. Sarkin Fada told me after- wards that I had killed one and wounded two of them, but this, I fancy, was " zuman baki." ^ It anyhow had the effect of checking them, and we got back into camp without further molesta- tion. My act of impatience had of course only made matters worse, as I had now aggravated the enemy. Added to the delay which was in no way lessened, I had given them increased incentive for a night attack.

I have admitted my mistakes, yet I think a good many other white men would have taken the same course, rather than lie down under the studied insolence of these rock-folk.

On the 15th of March, Parker turned up with about forty men, and the Medical Officer, Bissell, who had relieved Pollard. I think I cannot do better here than quote from my rough diary as to the proceedings which ensued.

March 15th. — ^Troops arrived and had breakfast, and, after warning the enemy to remove all their women, went up hill. Section posted behind hill and the rest round the summit at intervals. The Sarkin Fada went into a cave to call or pretend to call for surrender, and almost simultaneously five arrows whistled up from below, narrowly missing the sergeant-major. The foe

1 " Fie ! This is not play at all ! " ^ Said to please.

BAUGHI 51

were completely hidden and it was almost impossible to get a shot in. Meanwhile I got to work and carted their grain and beans away in baskets by labourers and men from friendly neighbouring villages. Periodically we got shots home, and in their turn they suddenly fired some arrows at my transport party as they went down with their loads, and frightened them so much that I had the utmost difficulty in getting them to come back. I then made them demolish as many houses as they could, and I fired all the grain I found. This took us till 3.30 p.m. and we were all hopelessly done up with heat of the broil- ing sun, the fire, and smoke, which a northerly breeze brought straight at us. I had not touched solids of any sort for five days, and could hardly stand. According to Sarkin Fada we had killed and wounded several of them, and I now asked Parker to cover my labourers' retreat and withdraw his troops till the next day. We hoped they might surrender, and all men, white and black, were tired and famished. In the evening Parker took out seven men and shot two more as they slunk out to get water, and intermittent sniping went on. I sent fre- quent messages to them, saying I would cease hostilities if they would come in, but they always refused, appa- rently feeling secure — as indeed they were — in their caves. It is difficult to know how to get at them. They still fire at any of the Madaki's men who go near them without an escort.

March 16th. — Attacked the hill very early in the morning before breakfast. Unhappily, the Sarkin Fada, thinking the fact that he wore a gown would protect him, suddenly emerged from the caves, and was shot through an arm and a lung by the advancing troops. Bissell and I did all we could for him, and he admitted he had taken the risk against the advice of his followers. I got to work, carted out of the town all the grain I wanted with the aid of the friendly tribes, who put garlands round their heads for fear of getting shot, and fired all the rest. By twelve o'clock the town was in ruins, our

52 RESULTS

eyes were bloodshot with smoke and dust, and I decided I had done all I could. I then asked Parker to with- draw troops, as we had harassed them pretty severely, and I have left them no grain, and they'll have to wait till October for the next crop ; moreover, they won't have anj^hing like time to build again before the rains. I sent three of their elders back with a message that I should go on periodically bringing troops till I found they settled down peaceably on the plain. Not entirely satisfactory situation, but the best I could do — as I have not the time to sit down there indefinitely. I am inclined to believe the assurances given me by refugees that the spirit of the place is broken, and that they will never return again to their hill. I have sent their chief, who came in sullenly, into Bauchi with a warrant for trial.

CHAPTER IV

BAUCHI — continued

" Parturiunt monies / " it may perhaps be ex- claimed. But the mouse came forth, and settled on the plains never to return, which was the object we wished to attain.

I now continued my journey, passing through the districts of Warji, Ari, Burra, and Ninghi. From Warji I sent back to inquire after the health of Sarkin Fada, who was still alive. The messenger took some opium and one or two other drugs. The former evidently gave relief, as the sick man sent to thank me, and asked for more. He also informed me that the rebel faction had already started building on the plains, and would never kick over the traces again.

I found it necessary to arrest the Sarkin Ari on various charges of tampering with justice generally, and in particular of hearing cases on his own in camera, especially divorce suits, as a result of which the female party was invariably summarily added to his own seraglio.

At Burra, during the night, a lion got into the towii and carried off an unfortunate woman. The hills round these parts were swarming with leopards and hyenas, and at a village between Burra and Ninghi, a hyena sprang in over the

53

54 VAIN HUNTING

sleeping forms of my boys and collared my goat. I can still hear the sickening scream it gave as it was torn from its tether, leaving — I could never discover how — its entire lower jaw behind. I was consequently reduced to drinking hot muddy water in lieu of tea — ^that luxury, and my last tin of milk, being finished at Karia Wudufa.

The heat seemed to grow fiercer every day, and I had a perpetual headache, due no doubt to my trying to combine long treks with longer shoots, and never being really fit for either. I was by now well into the Ninghi Bush ; but, though I saw tracks galore of all sorts, I struck nothing in the flesh. At one place, in despera- tion, I organized a grand drive, without result, and it became clear that I had come at the wrong time of the year.^ Mamuda,^ Sarkin Ninghi, had certainly done his best for me.

And here a few general observations on shoot- ing in Nigeria from an amateur's point of view may not be out of place. I hasten to state that, as far as I am concerned, I am an indifferent marksman both at the range and on safari ; my conclusions are therefore only to be taken for what they are worth, based as they are purely on my own personal experiences.

The best time of year for shooting is about May or June, when the early rains have brought on

^ Grier has since told me that he went on a similar tour there at about the same time in 1912, and got practically everything he wanted — which illustrates the glorious un- certainty of " safari ".

2 Now an exile in Ilorin.

BAUGHI 55

the new grass, and when the beef no longer have to wander long distances into the bush in quest of food and water. Moreover, in the riverain tracts the grass, which, if it answers to burning at all, answers much later than elsewhere, is not thick and impenetrable as it is from August to March. (I have of course particular places in mind.) It is needless also to add that the damp ground makes tracking easier.

Huntermen are for the most part undependablc: — partly because they suspect that you have come to pry upon, or confiscate, their gear ; chiefly because they do not want to " give away " their own hunting grounds. Their information, bar what is self-obvious, must therefore be taken cum grano. Huntermen have often told me that there was no beef where they lived, simply because they thought that to say there was would be an admission of guilty knowledge, and that they would be " caught " for shooting. (The position of a hunterman is not clearly defined. In some provinces they are not allowed at all ; in others discouraged ; in others, again, only allowed to shoot on a permit.) Once a hunterman has put me on to the tracks of game, I make him follow instead of preceding me. The chances of his ruining a shoot by not spotting the quarry, when it is standing and looking at you, more than balances those of his seeing it before you do. This is not altogether his fault, as he is probably studying the ground, while you are looking all round. The occasions when he has gone gaily on, and given the alarm to a perfect target, before

56 SOME SHOOTING ** WRINKLES "

I could attract his attention ; or shouted " Gashi ! Gashi ! " ^ long after I had seen it, are more numerous than I care to remember. Except for the purpose of guiding one into a game area, and skinning, etc., afterwards, the " mai-harbe " is more nuisance than help. There are of course exceptions.

Shooting on Trek. — It has been worked out by men who know something about it that for every male head of game one secures one treks fifty miles. I believe this to be no exaggeration. This is not like East Africa, where you take your choice of quarry at leisure. Here the problem is to find anything at all, and then think yourself lucky. Therefore you require everything in your favour — ^fitness, keenness, and freshness. If you have before you the average trek of sixteen miles, and you leave the road to go shooting, you never know where you will end up ; and, being probably already fatigued with the march, you are apt to be half-hearted, when the quarry begins lead- ing you south — your objective being north — and half -heart edness is fatal.

It is something like hacking fifteen miles to a meet, and nursing your mount during the run, instead of letting it all out, because you have in mind the return journey, plus any extra mileage the distance covered in the run may involve. In this country you have got to " sweat blood," as the saying goes, and you don't want to add a wearisome trek to your peregrinations in the bush. Shooting expeditions should therefore start 1 " Look ! Look ! '.»

BAUCHI 57

from camp, whenever time permits, and not be interleaved with the trek. If one spies anything from the road it is a different thing from going off " on spec." I have perhaps made heavy weather about this ; but I have caused myself more gnashing of teeth, through becoming ex- hausted just when stamina was most required, or being put off following a wounded beef by the prospect of never making camp, than I care to confess.

Arms. — I have found the '375 to be the ideal weapon. The '303 is not quite big enough, unless you are sufficiently close to make certain of a vital shot, while a '450, or bigger bore, I find too heavy, and personally I am put off by the recoil. The '375 (I am speaking of the B.S.A. Express, not the Manlicher) is light, and beauti- fully balanced. With it I have shot nearly every kind of big game from elephant downwards.

Ammunition. — It is a much argued point whether one should use hard or soft-nosed bullets for the bigger animals, such as elephant, etc. The argu- ment in favour of the hard is that it will penetrate bone, whereas the soft may flatten itself, and have no effect. That against it is that it will go islick through a non-vital part, inflicting no appreciable damage, while a soft-nose will break up and play sufficient havoc with the guts to put the victim hors de combat. In the case of an elephant (" giwa "), rhinoceros (" mairiri "), or hippopotamus ("dorina"), I advocate the hard, in view of the hide as well as the bone. For a bush-cow (" bauna "), as the buffalo is commonly

68 SKINNING AND CLEANING

called here, I should always use soft-nose, as, in my opinion, the advantages more than counter- balance the objections.^

Position, — Chacun a son gout. Personally I do all my shooting standing. Kneeling is all very well, but the snap of a twig as one drops on the knee upsets the whole apple-cart. Moreover, having got safely into this position, you often find a maddening blade of grass just interfering with your view.

Skinning, etc, — The neck skin should be severed well into the shoulder : you cannot cut it too far down. This is necessary to allow for shrink- age : also, a short neck looks hideous when set up. Every particle of flesh should be carefully cleaned from the skull and the mask (especially round the mouth and nose). The skull should then be buried in the ground for seven or eight days, and water constantly poured over it, till the insects have eaten it clean of everything but the bare bone. It should then be washed, and the horns, which will now slide off easily, rubbed inside and out with kerosene. (Some people prefer boiling their skulls, instead of burying them, but I find this is apt to make the bone over-soft ; and to warp the horns in the process.)

As regards the mask, this cannot be taken in hand too quickly. It should be borne in mind that — especially in the wet weather — it is a race between the sun and the damp, and the damp generally wins. The mask, which should be cut vertically down the back of the neck, after thorough

1 I believe that this opinion is not commonly held.

BAUCHI 59

cleaning, should be turned inside out, spread in the sun, and then treated with some sort of arsenical preparation for preference — failing that, wood-ash. Naphthaline is also a good preservative. Never leave it to the hunterman. He will either cut it down the front of the neck, which will mean the stitches showing when set up, or will drag the skull through without cutting the mask at all, and then proceed to stuff the mask with grass (probably damp) which he thinks is killing the germs, but which, as a matter of fact, will bring all the hair out in a couple of days ! I speak from bitter experience !

But, to return to my journey. Leaving Ninghi behind, I struck southwards through the region marked on the maps " Uninhabited Bush " — a just description. It was the most miserable trek I have ever done. We frequently lost our way ; the natives, who had never seen a white man before, if they did not run away, gave us very little assistance ; and to cap my trouble, Umoru, the small boy, became seriously ill, fre- quently being delirious. He had developed guinea- worm 1 at Warji, and the worm, enticed with water to protrude its head, had broken off so often that we despaired of ever getting rid of it. I made a rough stretcher of guinea-corn stalks, and on this he was carried, more dead than alive, for the rest of the journey into Bauchi.

For days we plodded on through this desperate country, Yaro performing miracles of endurance, and at length, just six weeks from the day I had 1 " Kunkunu."

60 A JUJU AND ITS EFFICACY

started, to my great relief I brought my long jomiiey to a close. Orr arrived the same day from an equally strenuous and weary tour through the Dass and Angass coimtry. He had fared a degree worse than I had — his small boy having died of small-pox during the trek.

On April the 14th I left Bauchi en route for England. Parker, a great shikari, had told me where to look for beef. He had shot practically everything worth shooting in these parts, except a roan, when posted at Giddan Sarkin Kudu years before, during the British advance on Bauchi. Near Katagum I met a weird-looking bushman, who, seeing my rifle, ran forward and asked me what I most desired to shoot. I naturally replied a roan (" gwanke ").

" Get up early," he said, " and wear this ! " Whereupon he presented me with a leather wristlet, or " kumbo," and disappeared.

I took his advice, and the juju worked : for, at seven o'clock the next morning, I ran into a herd of roan ! They were as much taken by surprise as I was, and stampeded, with the result that I had to be content with a female. It is a further coincidence that I have never had such good shooting since as I enjoyed during that trek to Ibi with the kumbo on my wrist ! I shot two fine hartebeeste (" kanke "), a reedbuck (" kwantanrafi "), a kob (" mariya "), and most of the smaller frj^

South of Wase I met Dix, who was proceeding to Bauchi to take over the Police. He had brought along ^^ ith him two loads of provisions sent to

BAUCHI 61

me by friends from Fortnum and Mason. They had been repacked in two cases at Ibi, and one of these bore the legend : " Heidseck Dry Mono- pole." Taking the case at its face value, I invited Dix to split a small bottle with me, and we sat down on the hot dusty road, with mouths water- ing, while Yaro opened the box. Alas ! The only " small bottle " of any sort was one of eau- de-Cologne !

Dix, I found, had been on Crabbe's staff, with my eldest brother, in South Africa. I swopped a boy of mine for one of his. His turned out to be wanted by the Police : mine, I learnt after- wards, achieved celebrity for the satisfaction he gave the ladies of Bauchi.

At Gerkawa I sold one of my horses to a police- man for £3 10s. He paid me a sovereign, and promised to send me the rest on pay day. Need- less to say, I have never seen the money (or the policeman) since.

Nearing Ibi I met Captain Ruxton and wife (at whose hands I was afterwards to meet with so much kindness in Bornu), and had the privilege of sharing with that charming French lady a bottle of " Paris bonbons," which formed part of the Fortnum and Mason consignment.

Having arrived at Ibi, I had hoped to have a bit of a loaf and some more shooting, as no barge was available. Next morning, however, Thompson — better known as " Wild Thompson," or " Tammie Tamsin " — put in an appearance hot-foot from Bornu via Yola in the poling barge Osprey, and announced his intention of pushing

62 "TAMMIE TAMSIN ''

off the same day for Loko, whence he was to make forced marches overland, to get to Zungeru in time to sit for his exam for his Captain's step.

We had lunch with Dr. Foy. The latter ordered his boy to fetch something, I forget what, in rather laborious Hausa.

" I suppose, Foy," said Thompson, " if you really want anything done, you say it in English ? "

" No," replied Foy, undefeated, "if I really want anything done, I get up and do it myself."

Thompson's practical jokes and escapades were a byword in Nigeria. On one occasion he was asked by the Resident for an escort to convoy a safe across country. The Resident further ex- plained that the safe would be best mounted on four cross pieces, thus : —

Thompson promptly filled in the diagram as

under : —

o

/ win !

H. C. T.

and returned it !

He was never at a loss for repartee. I o(nce happened to mention a friend of mine by name.

" Oh, that ass ! " he interjected.

" Have you ever met the man ? " I asked him coldly.

BAUCHI 63

" No," said Thompson.

" Then why call him an ass ? "

" He must be an ass, or he wouldn't be out in this dam rotten country," was the retort.

When I met him, his impending examination appeared to be weighing on his mind, and he was not so unruly as usual.

We left Ibi that evening in the Osprey. Our cellar being rather depleted, Thompson suggested that, on sighting the next European, I should get on my bed and do the sick man, while he solicited a bottle of brandy. We were singularly unfortunate in our venture ! Shortly afterwards a barge hove into view, and I duly got on to my bed, while Thompson hailed the traveller. Sud- denly I heard a groan from Thompson, who informed me that we had " struck a snag." ^ The traveller turned out to be a missionary, who not only appeared to possess just so much as, and no more than, the clothes he stood up in, but actually begged some tea off us !

The next barge we encountered Thompson took the precaution of scanning with his glasses, while I went through the same pantomime as before.

" Another snag ! " he snapped, " it's Baker."

Baker was an old W.A.F.F. bird, and not the sort to be had. Even the crocs left him severely alone, as he took his daily bath among them.

The third and last barge we met nearing Loko, and it contained a third snag in the shape of

^ A metaphor taken from the bumping of a barge, or steamer (generally just as the 'bosun has declared " No sounding ! ") on a sandbank or other submerged obstacle.

64 HOMEWARD BOUND

Jimmy Finch. We all dined together that night at Loko, and though Thompson cunningly offered to " run the mess " (which was a euphemism for taking charge of Finch's chop-boxes), we got no more out of Finch than he did out of us. We shall renew our acquaintance with J. Finch in a later chapter.

From Loko Thompson passed away to Zungeru, and, needless to say, arrived there too late for his exam ! Three days later I reached Loko j a, which place I found phmged in gloom, news having been just received of the death of King Edward.

I spent the next two days in the depressing occupation of sitting for my Lower Standard Hausa Preliminary, which I managed to pass, and then embarked on the Valiant for Forcados. My companions w^re Bobbie Ellis, Gerald Uniacke, and Migeod. We reached Burutu in a thick fog, and clambered up the side of B.M.S. Nigeria (Captain Minto) at twelve o'clock midnight. There we found Laws already on board, which, with the purser, Mr. Fothergill, made our table com- plete.

The latter, whose nicety of diction and in- sistence on strict veracity was quite Johnsonian, was, so to speak. Chairman of Committee at the daily meal. The following is a sample of one of our debates : —

Uniacke. " Very excellent, this wine of yours, Mr. Fothergill ! "

Mr. F. " Well, I wouldn't go so far as to call it eivcellent.'"

Migeod. " No. Just a wee bit full-bodied, perhaps."

MORE TROPHIES.

BAUGHI 65

Mr. F. " Well, I am not quite with you there : I should be inclined to call it "

Myself {thinking I am on a winner). " Exactly. Generous without being potent."

Mr. F. " There again, I think if we were to say mellow . Now, thirty years ago ..."

Laws (very bored). "Is it Canary, or palm- wine, any- way ? " {Cries of " Order ! Order ! ")

Laws had a theory that a meal at midday brought on indigestion, and used to give lunch a miss ; till one day I found him eating chocolates in his cabin at 3 p.m., whereat he had to confess that indigestion was preferable to the pangs of hunger, and after that used to join us !

We made Plymouth in June 1910, the day after the running of the Epsom Derby, which had been won, we learnt from the pilot, by Lem- berg, which horse I had drawn in the ship sweep- stake. And " so home, to my great content."

CHAPTER V NARAGUTA

In the middle of November 1910, accompanied by "Piccin," but leaving old "Peg" behind, I sailed on my second venture by the Burutu (Captain Potter). As we left the dock in the usual Liverpool snowstorm, I felt little more cheerful than I had done two years previously.

A mutual interest in a Ruff's Guide, from which I was endeavouring to extract comfort during the miseries of the Bay, hastened my acquaintance with John Radcliffe, whom I now met for the first time. We were to forgather later under much happier auspices at Ascot.

Another fellow-traveller was one Cockburn, better known as " Rustibuckle," a well-known old joker on the Coast, who regaled us with his exploits in those regions from morning till night. He is credited with having, when dunned by a Coast solicitor, shouted : " Oh ! my wife and children ! " dived overboard, emerged from under the opposite side of the ship, and safely hidden himself in a coal lighter, till the legal gentleman had departed, assuming the defendant's death.

Dick Bracken also was on board, and kept himself in good spirits in the Bay by recounting to me ghastly tales of the sea, and playfully drawing

66

NARAGUTA 67

my attention to a falling barometer, well knowing that I regarded the mere fact of being at sea at all as a crisis in itself. Why is it, by the way, that the artistes at a ship's concert invariably elect to sing about death and wrecks and pale hands ? And that the purser, when everyone else is yawning and dying to get away, must come forward and sing a dirge of seven verses " by special request ? " Which reminds me of a very tough miner I once travelled with, who spoke seldom, but always to the point.

A jejune-looking missionary lady was squeaking out the somewhat stale information that " There was a green hill far away."

" Well," commented he of the mines, " her husband won't be waking her up in bed to sing to him ! "

After a voyage on the Empire as far as Lokoja, I received orders to report at Naraguta, travelling via Baro and railhead, much to my disgust, as I had hoped to go via Ibi, and get some good shooting.

About this time some great mind had con- ceived the idea that it would be salutary for junior officers loafing in the provinces to be brought into touch with the Heads of Department (who did the real work, of course) at Zungeru. Accordingly, on arrival at Baro, Backwell and I were diverted by telegram to the capital, to be, as it were, pre- sented at Court.

Having duly introduced ourselves to the Chief Secretary, we were instructed to call upon the Chief Justice, the Principal Medical Officer, the Attorney-General (I trust I have given them

68 ZUNGERU DEITIES

their small-chop order of seniority), and, later on, the new Governor, Sir Henry Hesketh Joudou Bell, K.C.M.G. Why the Treasurer, the Post- master-General, and the Officer Commanding Troops were omitted from this list of celebrities, we were neither informed, nor did we inquire. Not ours to reason why. These ceremonial visits were duly carried out. The P.M.O.^ commonly known — whether on onomatopseic principles or on account of his optimism, I know not — as " Tombstone," was as pleased with our visitation as we were with our two-mile walk, on about the hottest day of the year, to his bungalow on the hill. I fancy he thought we were patients who did not know any better.

The interview with the Governor concluded, and having been presented with three different sets of warrants by the Cant. Mag., the Chief Transport Officer, and Public Works Department respectively, for a train which did not run, we were permitted to depart to our respective duties, chastened by our intercourse with the Great. These pilgrimages by " mere people " to the political Mecca were very soon, I believe, discontinued — possibly because they were found to be waste of that almost unlimited commodity. Government time.

Having, as mentioned above, paid one futile visit to the station, we tried our luck again next day, and were successful in finding a Minna-bound train under steam. The stationmaster, his face swathed in bandages, and strumming " Rock of 1 Dr. Thompstone.

NARAGUTA 69

Ages " on a guitar, informed us that he thought this was a pay -train, and that we could not possibly travel by it. But we decided that, possession being nine points, etc., we would board it, and that the authorities could eject us if necessary. This proved successful, and by nightfall we had com- pleted the long run of thirty-eight miles, thus maintaining the best traditions of that illustrious railway.

At Minna I encountered Herepath, who was almost in hysterics, having waited from 6 a.m. till 8 p.m. for our engine to take his horse-box to a siding and unload. He was now told it was too late !

Next day I reached Rigachikun, which was then railhead, and was there entertained to claret and cobras by Montague Porch, whose hobby at the time was to have his luncheon-table surrounded by deadly snakes.

In an endeavour to do a double march from here, to avoid the entourage of the Governor, who was also proceeding to Naraguta, I got separated from my carriers, and was stranded for the night near Bongo Dorina without bed, food, or water. Two belated carriers had followed me with loads, one containing bars of soap, the other burgundy. I drank a bottle of the latter, and then tried to get what sleep I could lying on the two boxes, covered with my rain- coat. A miserable night, with no protection from the mosquitoes ; and it was not till noon the next day that I hit off my convoy again.

I spent Christmas alone at Rahamma, and

70 NOTABLE MORTALS

ran into the Governor's crowd next day at roadhead. Here I met Stobart, who had been a contemporary of mine at Winchester and a fellow-student with me in the " Doidge's " division of Horace and Aeschylus's Persae. How different from those the Horace and Percy of our present circumstance ! Fox was in charge of the escort, and Jimmy Finch, when his duties as croupier-in-chief to any passer- by who cared for a fling at Freeze-out, or Chemmy, or other empire-building undertaking of the sort permitted, was supervising the clearing of the Rigachikun-Naraguta road.

These were cheery days during the tin boom. One seemed to be living in an irresponsible Bohemia, taking things as they came, unheeding of the future. As an example of the spirit of the times, Langslow- Cock recalls the accomplishment of the eccentric Waugh, who, having ridden from Liruein Kano to Naraguta in twenty-four hours, and possessing only the things he stood up in, invited the entire station to dine with him. Over that dinner (provided in toto, cook included, by the guests) presided the host — unabashed, and clad in Stobart's pyjamas ! Waugh had recently got into queer street for his drastic treatment of a certain village under the impression that he was beleaguered by several thousands of Pagans. The "siege" was " raised " by Gerald Uniacke. " I had intended," the latter subsequently told me with twinkling eye, "to take four dogarai with me," but I finally decided, in view of the gravity of the venture, to take sice, fully armed with turbans and sticks ! "

NARAGUTA 71

Finch, with whom I stayed the night, was in great form. He asked me, after an exhaustive inquiry into the state of the Turf and the form of the " back-end " handicappers when I left England, what job I was taking over in the province. I replied that I thought I should be working in the Sarkin Yaki's District.

" But that's my district, isn't it ? " said Finch.

" Well, I presume you know best about that ! " I remarked.

" No," replied Finch, " Sarkin Yaki will know best : we will send for him, and ask him " (!).

An anecdote or two about mine host will further help the reader to appreciate the fact that Wild Thompson, with all his resource and wit, had indeed " struck a snag " at Loko.^

Finch had travelled up-country with a number of very green youths, hereafter known as the Boy Scouts, fresh, most of them, from the School of Mines. He impressed upon them at Rigachikun the dangers of the road, and volunteered, as an old hand, to divide them each night into watches. The watches were duly allocated. Finch arranging to take the final one from 4 to 6 a.m., when the party would hit the trail, as they say out West. " Now, boys," said the old stager, " keep a good watch, and whoever is on duty from 2 to 4 need not call me. I am used to these watches, and shall wake automatically." And so, night after night, these youths took their turn till 4 a.m., when, true to orders, the last relay turned in, while master James continued to hog it till dawn ! 1 Vide Chapter IV.

72 SOME FINCH EPISODES

The story of the fortification of the " VaUant " is of course a well-known one : but in this case our friend, by over-acting his part, was hoist with his own petard. Affecting to have been hit by a poisoned arrow, he faintly appealed for whisky and soda. Here his fellow-conspirators sympathetically but firmly replied : " No, no, old thing ! Whisky would be fatal. No whisky to-night ! "

A year or two afterwards, Finch was ordered to take over Pankshin, the headquarters of the Pagan Division, " Now, mind you ! " were his parting words to his friends, " I'm not going near those ruddy Pagans ! "

In the early days in Bornu, Finch had been in charge of the Provincial Office, and used to work at a table side by side with the Resident, Mr. Hewby, who, being a man of few words, would give the simplest order in ^vriting, thus : " Mr. A. R. Finch. Please hear this case," and so on. Finch could not fathom the " A.R." part of it (which stood of coiu-se for Assistant Resident), and one day, in desperation, he returned the chit with "A.R." erased, and " J.R." heavily under- lined, substituted in its stead !

To this same office came a clerk one day of the super-educated, must-do-the-proper-thing type, and told Finch that he proposed to christen his newborn son and heir " Silvanus." " Most suit- able," replied Finch, " it means ' bushman.' "

He later introduced a pack of beagles and foxhounds to the Plateau, and used to hunt them with as much pomp as if it had been the Cottes-

NARAGUTA 73

more. One day an ostrich was the quarry, and hounds soon took a strong h'ne, and disappeared from view. Oaths and expletives gushed from the Master's hps (we were ahvays afraid that he would have apoplexy on these occasions), as he informed the field that they had changed on to a hare, " he knew dam well." They had changed the line — not, however, in favour of a hare, but Langslow-Cock's ham^ which they were found eating in the pantry with the utmost relish !

So much for this distinguished Political Officer, whom I must leave for the moment, paying out threepences beneath a large white umbrella bearing in bold block letters the legend : Stolen from J. Finch.

My arrival at Naraguta was far from auspicious. The accommodation for the Political staff under normal circumstances was entirely inadequate, and the arrival of His Excellency made things worse than ever. My billet was a small tree, under which I was stranded till 6 p.m. with my seventy odd loads, till a miner took pity on me and let me share his hut.

Dr. Gordon Hall, the Senior Medical Officer, was billeted on Bourke, now manager of the old Niger Company Mine, taken over by the Naraguta Tin Company, and there he remained for the next two months.

The housing of Government officials was the laughing-stock of the mining fraternity. The natives, too, who are quick at drawing con- clusions, could not reconcile the miner lording it in a palatial residence with the "Judge" pigging

74 IN TIN-LAND

it in a hut scarcely adequate for a horse or fowls.

" Where is the Court sitting ? " a miner inquired one day.

" This is the Court," I replied with as much dignity as I could assume from the magisterial packing case, which did duty as a chair, while the pigeons dropped their souvenirs on the table. " No, seriously, where is the Court ? " he went on. I murmured something facetious about the Central Criminal Court being closed for repairs, but the position was really rather invidious.

My very first duty — the morning, in fact, after my arrival — was an unpleasant one. It was to execute a search-warrant on a European suspected of doing away with £200 of silver, part of a consignment of specie he was bringing up-country for a certain mining company. Any qualms I had, however, were at once put to rest by the suspect himself, who complacently handed me the keys, adding : "Would you like the cook to help you search? IVe hunted mj^self, and can find nothing " ! I, of course, found nothing either, but it seems fairly certain from what transpired afterwards, that he had sent the cash home by an accomplice (who, when the time came, declined to disgorge ! ). Anyhow, he took his instant dismissal from his employers without turning a hair.

During the visit of His Excellency, John Radcliffe, who was doing chauffeur, bought from Stobart a likely-looking black horse, with a view to the coming Lagos races. He was a bad-tempered brute, with an incorrigible trick of rearing. With-

NARAGUTA 75

out rhyme or reason he would get up on his hind legs, and often come over backwards.

Having been dependent, when at Oxford, for my riding on such mounts as my friends — not entirely from charitable motives — were kind enough to give me, I had perforce accustomed myself to some very remarkable conveyances. One I remember used to sit down on the tram-lines at Carfax. Another would take its stance on Port Meadow and refuse to budge. (Ben Birbeck sat for a whole day on it once reading the Sportsman and smoking cigars.) Being accustomed therefore to rough rides at home, and my nerve, moreover, being better then than it is now, I offered to take care of this animal, whom we christened " Satan," till John left, and, incidentally, to try and break him of his vice. He was like a mad thing in his stable, and you could not get near him even to mount. I used to have to blindfold him, and then be thrown on to his back at a favourable moment. This, however, once accomplished, he used to behave like a lamb, and I never had the slightest trouble with him. In this respect he reminded me of a brute called " Lord Advocate," which I used to ride in the various 'Varsity steeple- chases. His lordship was literally unmanageable in the paddock, and it would take half an hour to get on his back. One day, however, it occurred to me that it might be the racing colours which irritated him, and I threw a great-coat over them. He instantly became sheep-like in his placidity. I was therefore able to assure John, not without a certain amount of self-congratulation, that the

76 ** SATAN "

horse had got over this particular bad habit. John was not so sanguine.

I had been told off to accompany His Excellency back to roadhead, and in the afternoon we all turned out in our glad rags to join in the procession as far as the station boundary. John had asked me to ride " Satan," which I did, and all went well till young Sydney Kay, who had started late for the show, came tearing up behind, and, in doing so, barged into " Satan." From that moment he became uncontrollable, and acted up to his name. Getting up on his hind legs, he struck out with his forefeet ; jibbed ; then up facing west, and down again facing east ; and, hovering each time, as it were, on a pivot, in uncertainty whether he would land on his feet or on his back, repeated the performance thirty times at least in about as many seconds. I have never before or since ^ ridden such a fiend.

At first I dropped the reins, and leaned forward along his neck to preserve the brute's balance which was every time in jeopardy — for I have never known a horse go up straighter without " coming over." Then, losing my temper, I struck him again and again between the ears, till my whip broke ; and finally I had to shout to Frankie Burton, the Governor's A.D.C., to ask His Excellency whether I might get on ahead. To this he agreed with alacrity, being as nervous about horses as he was about himself; and we went off on a mad career which never stopped

^ I must withdraw this observation. I have since had a Httle affair with a horse called " Trifle."

NARAGUTA 77

till we got into camp, both in a lather of a sweat.

At dinner that night the Governor was kind enough to congratulate me on not having parted company with my mount : but his first question next morning was : " Frankie, where is that terrible horse ? " I had already considered it wise to go forward very early on the " terrible horse " to the next camp. Here I handed " Satan " over to John Radcliffe, wishing him joy of the brute, and returned to Naraguta. He afterwards told me that he had got a worm of huge dimensions out of the poor devil, which no doubt accounted largely for his vagaries. " Black Arrow," Mr. Hall Walker's great horse, used one day to win his race by a street, and another finish down the course, and the public generally condemned him as a rogue — though his owner maintained from the first that there must be something organically wrong with him. I heard the true explanation some years ago from a man I shared a fly with to Hurst Park Races. He told me that his brother had made a post-mortem on " Black Arrow," and discovered that the horse only had one small lung (which my informant had had preserved in a bottle as a curio). So that, far from being a rogue, he was probably the gamest horse that ever lived. Curiously enough, I have before me an extract from " Rapier's Notes," which reads as follows : —

I have not heard what caused " Irish Mail's " death. Possibly he had long suffered from some ailment which would have accounted for the various disappointments

78 NOW NOT TO BUILD

he occasioned if one had known of it. Horses are some- times blamed for shiftiness when the cause of their failures is physical disability or infirmity.

Colonel (now General) Cunliffe took him over from John, and started to train him for various races at Lagos. Within the first few days, however, he fell to savaging his groom in such an alarming manner that Cunliffe was constrained to seize the first weapon that came to his hand, which happened to be a polo boot, and biff " Satan " over the head with it, unfortunately fatally damaging one eye. " Satan had a little fit of temper the other day," he wrote to John — or words to that effect — " for which I had to chastise him. He is now fit and well — but will run under the name of ' Cyclops ' " (!).

It had now been settled to shift headquarters from Bauchi to Naraguta, and I was detailed, besides carrying on the office as best I could, to supervise the building of the new station on the site selected, a bleak hill about a mile from where I was living. The type of houses chosen was unsuitable, being far too clumsy and full of doors and windows, and I came in for a good deal of chaff from my mining friends as they passed of a morning. " Good morning, IVIr. Heath Robinson ! " " Ah ! Thafs the idea ! If the rain blows in at the front, it blows out at the back ! " " You've forgotten to put a window in the roof, haven't you ? " were among the many quips I had thrown at me, as I walked gloomily about with my one skilled artisan, facetiously known as " the other

NARAGUTA 79

mason." But I did not mind this, as I was only acting on instructions, and was not the architect. Moreover, profiting by the defects in these buildings, I managed, when the time came, to make a very nice little shanty for myself.

Jaunts out to Tin Areas, the Anglo- Continental property, Bourke's hospitable mine, and the Niger Company's palace at Tudun Wada, all helped to make up for the worry and overwork involved in trying to carry on practically single- handed in the office, and also do " foreman of works " on the new station. When I compared the work I was doing, and the pittance I was drawing, with the life of ease led by the numerous gentlemen who drew anything from £60 to £110 per month, and knew as much about tin as I did, it made me melancholy. One weird bird, who used to gallop about in a red shirt, vouchsafed us the information, when slightly in his cups, that his syndicate had sent him out to prospect for the " bacilH " of tin !

In March, I think it was, considerable fuss was made over the tour through these parts of the unctuous E. D. Morel. His path — I could never make out why — was strewn with roses, and he was lavishly entertained wherever he went. He got a home-truth or two, however, from one individual, a foreman on the road-construction, who observed to him with refreshing candour : " Well, now, let's get down to it, Mr. Morel ; I suppose you're out 'ere on the make same as most of us ? " He of course wrote the inevitable book : this has become almost a solemn obligation on

80 A RACE-MEETING

anyone who has roamed the high-roads of Nigeria for a few weeks.

At length the Staff, offices, etc., and last but not least Gordon Hall (!), were safely established in their respective leaking quarters on the hill. No sooner was this effected than Mr. Gowers was posted to the province, and arrived almost simul- taneously with the Acting Governor, Mr. Temple, C.M.G., on tour. And then Gowers called for the Bukuru files 1 Now, during the mining influx, change of stations, and general pande- monium, I am afraid these archives had been sadly neglected. Enter Stobart into my shanty, in a state of consternation, and carrying a box con- taining— white ants ! " Shall I tell him that "

he began. " Had it been anyone else but Gowers," I chipped in, " I am afraid I should have given you some very immoral advice ! But from what I know of him, the truth will be, on the whole, the least dangerous course ! " And it was — accused getting off with an admonition.

A race-meeting was held in the Governor's honour. Finch won the first four races off the reel on two horses of Gowers'. He was a bit late getting to the post for the fifth, and in cantering down his horse put his foot in a hole, and gave Finch a toss. We were all lined up on fidgeting horses, chafing to be off, when Finch, standing in front of us, elected to give us an address on his misfortune. Being on the Governor's horse, who was now showing signs of temper, I shouted : " Cut all that out, for God's sake, Finch ! and let's get started ! " But, as the flag dropped, my

NARAGUTA 81

unruly chestnut, instead of going forward with the rest, backed slowly towards the prospecting pits near Bourke's yard, and took no part in the race, which was won by another chestnut. The winner was at first mistaken for the Governor's animal, and he came in for some premature con- gratulations as a consequence, while I still hovered over the catacombs !

In the Open Native Race, Finch's small boy came in a good second, and attributed his narrow defeat to having lost his whip at the critical moment. " Rot ! " said James to the hapless youth, " what the devil should you want a whip for ? " Five minutes afterwards someone twitted Finch for losing the fifth race by a neck. " Damn it ! " he replied indignantly, " couldn't you see I had dropped my bl-st-d whip ! "

Next evening I gave a sort of house-warmer in my new shanty on the hill. " Lawyer " Berkeley, Fox, Finch, Dix, Stobart, Radcliffe, and Dick Corfield ^ made up the party ; and the conversation developed into a heated controversy on racing topics. Arguments were freely raised as to what was first, second, and third, in such and such a race in such and such a year ; bets were made on the coming " Liverpool " : everybody backed his own know- ledge against everybody else's : and, in the rare pauses for breath, Finch was heard droning that ''''he didn't care: he knew 'Drogheda' had won in '97, because he was on his way home at the time from Egypt " ; as further " proof " "he had

^ For his life vide Richard Corfield of Somaliland, by Prevost Battersby.

6

82 A DINNER-PARTY, AND A BURGLARY

been left a ' parcel ' by some relative that year, and had thrown a fruit jelly at the head of some- body he disliked, to show his independence." The party finally broke up, and, as Dix mounted his horse, still arguing some point or other, the beast got up on its hind legs, and Dix, not letting this trivial diversion interfere in the least with his oration, slid gently down its back, and continued the argument as if no interruption had occurred.

The " morning after the night before " I found the table littered with illegible chits purporting to record immense wagers, some won and lost, others hanging in the balance, and which I doubt being ever remembered by the contracting parties.

This same morning, feeling far from scholarly, I was examined and passed in the Lower Standard Hausa Final by His Excellency, who left with his Staff in the afternoon.

It cannot have been more than a day or two after this that I came to the office at about 8 a.m., and found that a box, which should have contained £200 in silver, had been removed from the strong-room,^ and £27 odd abstracted. The rifled box was lying on the window-sill of the office. The guard were arrested, and admitted that they had taken over sixteen boxes, whereas there were now only fifteen in the strong-room. I had on the night before the occurrence asked the O.C. Troops, in the usual way, to " relieve the present guard," but, by an oversight, he had replaced them with a single, instead of a double guard. Having technically neglected the Govern- 1 A mud building without a door !

NARAGUTA 83

raent Standing Order, which lays down that " the officer applying for a guard must satisfy himself that the correct guard has been supplied " or words to that effect, I was called upon to make good the money. The guard, on the other hand, who were obviously concerned in the robbery, and were sentenced by a court of inquiry to various terms of imprisonment, were subsequently granted King's pardon on Coronation Day. So that was that : or, Latine redditum, Sors Nigeriana.

GalP now took over the province, just as the excess of demand over supply of grain, created by the huge influx of mining labourers, boys, and camp-followers from other provinces, was beginning to create an acute situation verging on famine.

This class of native were all dependent on guinea- corn as their staple diet, while the Pagans only cultivated " atcha," and only enough for them- selves at that. Guinea-corn had therefore to be imported by the hundreds of tons from Sokoto, Kano, Bauchi, and elsewhere. I had a constant stream of camels, bullocks, and donkeys coming and going, which had to be subsisted, and have their burdens weighed ; and more often than not I would be working up to eight and nine o'clock at night, in order to keep abreast of the con- signments, and not delay the unfortunate owners, who did not relish these trips to the cold and rainy Plateau, apart from the mortality among their stock.

Large batches of these wretches had been dis- patched by Gerald Uniacke from Liruein Kano.

1 Died 1920.

84 THE ROUGH AND THE SMOOTH

In reply to a memo of mine making various sug- gestions for their comfort on the next trip, and giving details of final payments due on their return, I received a letter, heavily edged with black, containing three words : " They never return,''^

But it is only fair to sa}'^ that the managers of the various mines would always make things easy for me, and assist me in every way. Langley, of the Niger Company, and Crichton out Juga way were particularly helpful to me, when I found myself landed with more grain than I could dispose of. Had it not been for this — and I think I can honestly say that I never had an unpleasant word with any " tin-opener " I came in contact with — the work would have been quite beyond one man. Bills of exchange, deposit accounts, cheques, etc., all helped to complicate and increase the work of the local sub-treasury. As it was, the cheery company and good-natured banter of people who did not take life too seriously rubbed the rough edges off one's difficulties. " Don't let me disturb you," said Kent, dropping in one day. " My business won't take five minutes : I only just want you to give this watchman of mine a couple of years, and cash me a draft for fifty quid." ^

On the Coronation Day alread}'' alluded to, a guard of honour turned out under Bobbie Ellis ; and Colonel Judd, a very military and patriotic gentleman, decked in full regimentals, took the salute. Gall had all the Europeans up to his house after the ceremony, and entertained them

1 The Government cashed the cheques of a miner long before it took a similar risk with its own officers !

NARAGUTA 85

very generously. I learned from one miner that he, in common with many others, was labouring under the delusion that all Government officials drew an entertaining allowance, and that even the smallest of small-chop parties was charged up to that fund ! Certainly if ever there was a case where such an allowance would have been really justified, it was in the case of the Resident Naraguta of that day.

A race-meeting of sorts was held in the after- noon, but the principal affair was a luncheon at the " Club." I fancy it was after this banquet that dear old Walter Wethered, intending to down a glass of creme-de-menthe, inadvertently picked up a glass containing toothpicks, took a gulp, turned blue, and nearly choked !

At about four o'clock a thunderstorm broke with terrific violence (probably part of the same great storm which swept Epsom Downs about then, causing several fatalities among the Summer Meeting crowd); and that good sportsman Judd and I were riding back up the hill, when a hideous flash of lightning, followed by a thunderclap of corresponding immensity, blinded me for the moment, and drove my horse nearly mad. When I looked round Judd was on the ground. Whether his horse had shied at tlie thunder and deposited him on mother earth, or whether the festivities of the " Club " were beginning to react upon the gallant Colonel, I do not know ; but with great presence of mind I ran him in to Gordon Hall's house, tactfully saying : "A brandy and soda for the Colonel ! He has been struck by light-

86 THE MISSING PINT

ning ! " Having partaken of this restorative, the patient went to his house and retired to bed.

That night the Colonel had invited a large party to dinner and cards, and a case of champagne had been duly laid in for the occasion. Allured by the convivial clatter of knives and forks and the popping of corks, he rose from his sick-bed and announced that he felt better.

" No, no ! " cried a dozen voices, " you must lie down, Colonel ! We appreciate your distress at not being able to perform the duties of host, but being struck by lightning is a serious thing ! " Judd retired again crestfallen, not without one eye having roved towards the spot where Jules Mumm, his Extra Dry, stood stacked in imposing array.

The evening wore on, and somebody called for a final bottle.

" None lib, sah ! " the boy replied. " All done finish ! "

" But I've counted them, and I know there's one left ! " cried the thirsty one.

A search-warrant, so to speak, was forthwith issued, and the premises scoured, with the result that the missing wee bottle was discovered, empty and its earthly task performed, beneath the ColoneVs had!

The following day Kent, who had been staying with me for the festivities, returned to his mine, and I cracked up with fever. This grew worse, and I became very ill. I was in severe pain in- ternally, but the most maddening feature of my malady was a headache which lasted continuously

NARAGUTA 87

for nine days and nights, and defied all McKinney's tireless efforts to defeat it. I cannot help think- ing that the lightning may have had something to do with it — ^for I certainly felt very queer at the time — in which case I have perhaps treated the Colonel's mishap with undue levity ! Be that as it may, I was invalided from Naraguta, having handed over to Wightwick, and left about the middle of July.

I was not altogether sorry, for the overwork was beginning to tell, and I felt ready for a rest, though I had only done seven months. Foulkes, who had been transferred to that province, accom- panied me as far as Zaria, where I entrained, and proceeded to Burutu, via Baro and Lokoja, on the Valiant. George Browne, in the Political, and J. O. Greenwood, in the Police, familiarly styled " Jog," were also en route home, and sailed with me on the Burutu (Captain Potter) from Forcados.

Jog was a weird fellow, and very powerful. He had done most things, and been to most places. He could quote from Gladstone ^ and Chamberlain by the yard, and, beneath a rough and devil- maj-csive exterior, he concealed a great deal of character, wit, and conversance with literature. He was alternately maudlin and brimming over with exuberance.

1 Especially the passage on Ireland, which he would recite with gestures : " What we wish is that where there has been despair there shall be hope (high note), where there has been distrust there shall be confidence, where there has been aliena- tion and hate (deep bass) we shall have sown the seeds of deep affection between man and man ! "

88 *' JOG ''—HIS DEATH

Browne shared a cabin with him, and used to report progress to me at breakfast.

" How is Jog to-day ? " I would ask.

" Quite cheerful this morning : says he thinks he will live through the voyage ! "

Another time :

" A relapse this morning : he has a large ginger- ale in one hand, while, with the other over his heart, he is announcing his approaching dissolu- tion ! "

Then Jog would appear, and indignantly declare that he was going to report his steward to the skipper. He had apparently rung the bell for the former and informed him gravely that he was dying ; whereupon the steward had equally gravely handed him the — well, something quite irrelevant !

George Browne w^ould periodically be awakened by a sock-suspender being dangled over his nose from the top bunk to the stentorian accompani- ment of " And a half seven ! No sounding ! "

Poor Jog ! He went to Strathpeffer that leave, never to come South again.

" My mates are a poor, funereal lot," he wrote me a fortnight before he died. " I pass among them with here a quip from Gladstone, and there one of my own drawing-room tales, but fail to raise a smile, though they are most of them a lung better off than I am."

We could do with a few more of that sort out here — superior to the conventions of life, and ready to w^elcome death with a jest on his lips.

CHAPTER VI

BORNU

New Year's Day 1912 saw me once again accompanied by the faithful "Piccin," traiHng with reluctant step up the gangway of the Nigeria (Captain Davis). My cabin had earned previous distinction, having been occupied by Joe Chamber- lain at the Coronation Review at Spithead in 1901. My usual gloom was in no way dispelled when, on the fringe of the Bay, the good ship developed " engine trouble," and on two occasions we were adrift with " Out of Control " signals flying. But, as Jimmy Somerville said, it " all counted towards pension."

At Lagos I received orders for Nassarawa, to which province I omitted in the last chapter to mention I had been instructed to transfer just prior to my illness at Naraguta. With Gordon Hall I proceeded on the Sultan to Lokoja, where I had the pleasure of meeting Brocklebank.

" B-bank," as he was generally called, had been in the W.A.F.F.'s and also the Political Service, and was now a director of the London Kano Trading Company. It had been in his mind for some time to start a paper somewhat, as far as I can remember, on the lines of West Africa — that journal founded later on, and so ably edited by

89

90 A THIRTY-SEVEN DAYS' TREK

Mr. Cartwright. The offices and plant were to be erected at Lokoja, and he selected, or was going to select, a site the day I left. He did me the honour of asking me to consider midertaking the editorship. I did give the matter considerable reflection, as this sort of work has always appealed to me ever since my novitiate at a guinea per thousand words on the staff of a certain tangerine-hued journal, but the idea never mate- rialized.

On arrival in the Osprey at Loko, I received a wire from Major Larry more. Resident of Nassa- rawa Province, telling me that I had been diverted to Bornu, and advising me to proceed overland via Bauchi. The General, enfin, had been as good as his word, for he had always promised to get me up to Bornu if he could.

On a rag of a horse — ^the only one I could hire — I set forth on a trek which was to take thirty -seven days, practically slap across the Protectorate from south-west to north-east. " Piccin " accomplished this journey, as had her mother from Ibi to Bauchi, in a box. The tedious pilgrimage had this merit, that at intervals of every four days one passed through a Government station of some sort, viz. Keffi, Jemaa, Bukuru, and Naraguta, Bauchi, Gombe, Nafada, and Gujba.^

At Keffi I made the acquaintance of Parsons, the M.O., whom I promised to send some notes on building, based on my unhappy experiences re- counted in the last chapter (!) for a book he was compiling.^

1 Vide map. ^ ^ Haiisa Phrase-Book (Humphrey Milford).

BORNU 91

Thence, via Jemaa, to Bukuru, where I burst

n upon a riotous board being held by Stobart,

Wightwick, Dix, and Finch — ^the last-named with

his head shaved and almost enveloped in a huge

stick-up collar, w^hich rendered him grotesque.

At Naraguta I picked up my old grey horse of last tour, and passed on to Bauchi, and thence to Gombe, where I found Lonsdale.

He had arranged to smoke a leopard out of its lair that evening, but though we spent an hour there waiting with guns in hand, the leopard did not, as they say of rent in the Political Memoranda, " emerge."

Crossing the Gongola, I pursued my hot journey to Nafada, where I picked up a hunterman, who accompanied me for the rest of the way to Maidu- guri. Again I could not resist the temptation to combine shooting with trekking, and though I did secure a decent male roan, it was all I got, and I had to pay for it with a severe go of dysentery. I disregarded this for some time, but at Limlin I collapsed and could go no further. I wrote to the General, asking him to send out a hammock.

A weird youth, answering — more or less — ^to the name of Sainsbury, who was at Jajel, intercepted my note, and galloped out to visit me. He was too much preoccupied with the record time in which his horse had completed the eighteen miles to be seriously interested in my illness. A whirl- wind youth, who had done, at the age of twenty- three, what nobody but a superman could have accomplished in under forty -four years. For this

92 WONDERFUL FEATS

reason I hesitate to attempt to set forth a complete list of his achievements lest I fail to do him full justice. Among other things, however, he could shoot crown-birds on the wing with his revolver : he had walked, on dry land, across the Alo Lake in August ; and had been told off specially, when cattle-ranching in Australia, to sit astride the stockade and shoot any wild horse that showed signs of so much as laying one ear back stone dead through the forehead.^

It was no doubt the echo of those days out West which prompted him, at the annual board on cash and stamps, to have his office surrounded by a W.A.F.F. guard, and sit at his table with revolver cocked, and ready for the slightest sign of outside interference.

His treatise on horse-breeding in Bornu would have been immortal had the authorities appre- ciated it sufficiently to have it published. The province was indeed lucky to enjoy the services of so versatile an officer.

Sainsbury left that evening, and, about mid- night, just as I was getting off to sleep under the soothing influence of opium, Dr. Thompson arrived. This, in itself, annoyed me, but when he removed the indignant " Piccin " from her chair at my side, I fear I became rude. The climax was reached when he insisted on taking me right through to Maiduguri, instead of heeding my fervent entreaties for a halt at Jajel. I am afraid I sulked, and barely deigned to reply to his

1 Thus, times without number, saving the hfe of the attendant ensrasred in handhng the brutes inside the stockades.

'©"■is"

BORNU 93

periodical inquiries as to how I felt. We have often laughed about it since, for we were very soon to become firm and intimate friends.

The General was very seedy at the time, and it was not till several days later, when I was myself more or less recovered, that I paid him a call. I have already described this charming man. He told me that he was putting me on to Assessment work under W. B. Thomson,^ as delightful a Scotsman as the General was Irishman.

" Tamsie," as we called him, had been collecting a mass of invaluable detail as to the respective incomes of the various classes of taxpayer, classi- fying and tabulating the information, and finally submitting a practical scheme for levying the income tax on a 10 per cent, basis. George Seccombe ^ (" Judgie Dumboa " ^), from whom I was to take over, had experimented with the scheme in certain districts, and this had been sanctioned, and was to become fully operative for the current year.

Mr. Hewby tells a story which will appeal to those who appreciated the General's blarney. Tamsie had submitted a valuable, but necessarily dry, list of the various incomes arrived at, and it was up to the General to make some recommenda- tion as to each proposal. Having exhausted the

1 The Editor of West Africa has courteously allowed me to reproduce in Appendix B a (quite inadequate) appreciation of Tamsie which I wrote in that paper after his tragic loss on s.s. XJmjeni.

2 Prisoner of war at the time of writing.

^ So called because he was stationed for some time at Dumboa.

94 ** MAIDORONYAK "-ISMS

usual " I concur," " Quite right," " I presume you have carefully verified this," etc., and be- coming very bored with the pages of statistics it Avas necessary to comment upon, he at length came to an entry which he felt it would be safe to jump upon for a change. The entry was ; " Gauta 1 . . . 10s." Opposite this the General minuted : " Seems high." Later on, in the course of taking over, Mr. Hewby came across these papers, and remarked : " Do you know what gauta is. General ? "

" Yeth," replied the General like lightning, " it workth out at ten bob."

" Do you know what gauta is ? " repeated Hewby inexorably.

" Well," said the General, now at bay, " ath a matter of fact I don't ! "

" Then what the devil do you say it seems high for ? "

" Becauthe damned well it doeth theem high ! " was the retort, which admitted of no further argument.

As another example of bluff I recall an occasion when the General, by way of airing an assumed familiarity with the new Land Registration Ordi- nance, which was then in its prime, Greek to most people, and entirely inapplicable to most provinces, inquired glibly of a number of Village Heads, who had brought their tax in : " Well, are they all well ? " Yes, they were all well, said interpreter Maina. " And all their people well ? " Yeth, all their prople were well. " And all got their Ther- ^ A native form of tomato.

W. B. THOMSON.

GEORGE SECCOMBE AND TRAP

BORNU 95

tificateth of Occupanthy ? " ^ (!) I furtively clutched the General's arm, and gently protested that this was rather premature. " Well, perhapth we will defer that quethtion till later on," he said mag- nanimously as he bade them good-bye — and that evening inquired of me : " What are thethe damned thertificateth, anyway ? "

As a result of this drudgery of Thomson's, Bornu can probably claim to be the only province that paid as early as 1912 — or ever paid, I think — the full estimated 10 per cent, income tax.

The next two months were like a nightmare to me. I was in a more or less chronic state of dysentery, the Bornu heat was at its zenith — ^the thermometer frequently registering 115° in the shade — and the dust and flies unbearable. I have always maintained that these flies were the worst feature of Bornu. I remember one evening George, who had a four-wheeled buckboard and was a superb whip, taking me out for a drive to get a breath of air. We got " a breath of air " all right, but it was actually hotter than the sur- rounding atmosphere, and we had to turn back ! I was practically living on ipecac, and opium, and it seemed doubtful if I should weather a tour. The strangeness of the Kanuri people, language, and climate all tended to increase my nostalgia for Hausaland. A fan-boy was indispensable, and the General, during his attacks of asthma, used to employ two.

^ The Certificate of Occupancy has now practically super- seded the Koran and the " Local Authority " Mahomet (vide Chapter X).

96 ILLNESS OF THE GENERAL

In April, with the increasing heat, the General was seedy again, and eventually became seriously ill. One morning, at about 5.30, being still on the sick list myself, his boy, Musa, put his great moon-shaped face in through my mosquito-net, and muttered : " My massa do walka foolish, and do talka foolish, and no man fit do nothing ! " I hastened across to the General's bungalow in my pyjamas, and there found him fully dressed, but quite delirious, as the boy had attempted to explain. I had a desperate time with him till Thompson came across to my relief, and neither George nor I will ever forget the awful business it was in that sweltering heat, taking it in turn with the doctor to nurse him. He soon picked up, however, and was quite well again by the time his old W.A.F.F. friend, Colonel Strickland, ^ arrived on a tour of inspection. Tlie latter came to lunch with me, and expressed his views freely on the heat !

After many a cheery little dinner and sing-song on Tamsie's dulcitone, George went home, and Tamsie to Geidam ; while, from now onwards, with few intervals, I spent my entire time eternally trekking, mapping, and assessing.

In May, Thompson, accompanied Knox^ and Fairlie,^ both Captains in the W.A.F.F., on a patrol into the Burra country, and we were left without a doctor. I had almost immediately to leave assessing the Uje District and return to

^ Now Brigadier- General.

2 Reported missing in France.

^ Killed in France.

i

BORNU 97

the station, as Ash,i the subaltern, was down with dysentery 2 and Sainsbury with jaundice.

During this period I became very intimate with the General, who talked to me a great deal about his affairs. He had a rooted presentiment that he would not Hve to the age of fifty, and the uncertainty of his future movements after handing over to Hewby seemed to get on his mind and aggravate his depression.

He often used to send for me of an evening, and we would walk round the gaol, etc. The gaoler, Tokosi, was almost as great a character as the General. One evening, on the General asking his usual question as to the health and behaviour of the prisoners, Tokosi replied : " Except only Idirisu."

" And what'th the matter with him ? " queried the General.

" Well, sir, he practises wickedness too much ! " said Tokosi, presumably meaning that he was out of hand.

" And he'th not the only one I know ! " remarked the General, having a dig at Tokosi's partiality for " Old Tom."

" Please, sir," rejoined poor old Tokosi, " when you speak to me, I don't know whether to laueh or cry !

The annual board on Prison Stores was always an event of grave anxiety and strain to Tokosi. One item : " Hanging Rope . . . nine yards,'' had

1 Killed in France.

2 Maiduguri's medical return of dysentery passed all previous records this year.

98 HIS DEATH

been misread and entered from time immemorial by Tokosi as " Hanging Rope . . . nine years."

" But why nine years ? " I once asked him.

" Because," he repUed in a dreadful state of muddle and the sweat pouring down his face, " it was entered in Major Ellis's time, nine years ago."

Three years later I asked the same question, and received the same reply !

The " Mark System " also presented great diffi- culties to Tokosi, who used to say with horror : " Oh, we can't have marks knocked off ; it would humbug the books too much. They must all have full marks."

About the middle of June the General left, the idea being that, having met and handed over to Mr. Hewby at Katagum, he should proceed to Naraguta. The meeting, however, was not des- tined to take place. On the day of his departure he had tea with me, and at six o'clock bade me good-bye. He was evidently suffering from great emotion, for the tears were in his eyes, and when Ash rode up, as if to accompany him part of the way, he waved him back, and calling out " God bless you all ! " cantered away.

At Magumeri he became very ill, and there Moiser, who was on his way in to treat Sainsbury, found him. He got better, and as soon as he was fit to travel Moiser returned with him to the next camp, Busugua. Here he seemed compara- tively well, ate a hearty meal, and went on ahead in the cool of the evening to Ngubala. Being apparently restless and uncomfortable with the journey, he halted at the market half way, and

THE CEMETERY, MAIDUGURI.

"Avam AuKi Oesioekahtes"

To THE MEMORY <>F

Major Augustus M't Clihtock. o.s.o.

Formerly of the SEy^^roRiH Hio-hlaiweks aui:- the VfesT Afijicah Frontier Force. a;;o a First fEAss Resjoeut Bori«j Province, Northern Nic-eria .-:•<:

VyORll Wt Iff" dF/J.imEK I^'^f)^ ATSEr.KIHOKE.f^TYKOKIvInELAKIK

The 4n r^on of Coi.i^^. Perry M- < eiiitook. 0. L.

Ihiin OH 24™ JuHE 1^)12 at IIcurala Borhu Provihce

Thls tarlet has beeh raised by his friekds.

J- "

i^^

MEMORIAL TABLET TO "THE GENERAL.

BORNU 99

took — or rather thought he was taking — ^the drug he had been in the habit of swallowing for sleep- lessness. Unhappily he took the wrong one, and by the time he reached Ngubala at 4 a.m. he was a dying man. He lingered on till 6 p.m., when he expired quite peacefully. During transitory flashes of consciousness his Irish humour did not desert him.

Through that long spell Moiser had one of the grimmest and most wearying vigils ^ a man could well have ; and now, on the top of this, he set himself, by trekking night and day incessantly, to bring the body into Maiduguri for burial. This he accomplished — four dreary stages — ^in thirty- six hours. Ash's fatigue party had prepared a grave in the little cemetery where lie Overweg, Boyd Alexander, and others who have given their lives to this sinister country. Ash gave him a military funeral. Benton, who had recently arrived, read the service as Senior Political Officer, and at the conclusion the General's own boy, Biri, an ex-bugler, sounded the Last Post. The spec- tacle was as impressive as it was sad. I shall never forget it.

A mural tablet was erected over the School in his memory by his many friends, inscribed as shown in the facsimile.

Benton having taken over the office from the Sainsbury youth, the latter was ordered to put in a month or two at Geidam, and then go on leave.

1 The full details of this sad occurrence, which it is not necessary to record, were given me both by Moiser and Bisalla, who is still with me.

100 W. p. HEVVBY

Having a number of private bullocks, or donkeys, at his disposal, this amiable young man pressed me to let him take home for me some of my shooting trophies, and so save me the trouble and expense of extra transport. There was no real necessity for this, but at length I surrendered to his solicitations, and handed over to him the skull and mask of the roan I had shot at Nafada, and which I valued rather highly. Ten months later, on arrival at Kano, en route home myself, Eric Douglas, of the London Kano Trading Com- pany, informed me that there was a box lying in his store stamped with my name, which had been there for nearly a year. Did I know anything about it ? I went and opened the box, and found it to contain the roan trophies, moth-eaten and ruined, which I had handed under pressure to my obliging friend to take home the previous June !

Mr. W. P. Hewby, C.M.G., reached Maiduguri at the end of the month, and, after assessing Masu and Magumeri Districts, I was called in to see him — for the first time. I do not presume to do justice to the portrayal of a man who came into the country before I came into the world and whose name^ was known even in the parts about Tripoli, but this much I will say : never did per- sonality inspire greater loyalty or respect. His caustic tongue — and it could be caustic ! — con- cealed the warmest of hearts ; his bearing was formidable — almost arrogant — but only calculated

1 Having been at Ibi for some time in the Royal Niger Company days, his name was corrupted by the natives into " Mustafa " or " Mista Ibi."

■£*Tii

BORNU 101

to discomfit those for whose consciences discom- fiture was salubrious. I have never known him pay a direct compliment — it was not in his line — but he could convey his appreciation in a way which appealed to the instinct of the recipient as the encomia of a more unctuous personage could never have done. Palmam qui meruit ferat. Though to others it may be ordained some day to perfect the millennium in Bornu, with the elaboration of Ministerial Responsibility, an in- corruptible Native Administration, and other respectable fetishes, those who were privileged to work under Mr. Hewby will never forget who it was who did the real spade-work.

It was only the other day that I learned from Mr. Hewby a little incident, the humour of which greatly pleases my fancy. The General had just arrived in Bornu for the first time to take up his duties as Resident. Well known as a soldier to the natives, and having but recently relinquished his office of Commandant, he was met by a depu- tation of chiefs, who timidly expressed a hope that a regime of militarism would not supersede the sympathetic administration of Mist a Ibi. To which the General made answer that " we must hope for the best ! " A more guarded reply than that given by one Rehoboam under somewhat similar circumstances.

One little idiosyncrasy I may mention before passing on. Hewby was one of the most upright men on a horse I have ever met, and always rode at a pace which was neither a trot nor a canter, but a sort of amble which made it almost impossible

102 TWO CLASSES OF KANURI

to keep abreast of him. It made you wonder whether he was trying to shake you off, or whether there was something wrong with your own pace ! From this time onward I continued to assess district after district, till the whole division had been completed. During my continuous pere- grinations I only met two classes of Kanuri — ^the spoiler and the spoiled. The bigger the man the greater the spoiler, and vice versa (or " visa versa," as George Seccombe hath it in his Assessment Reports). An Ajia would not think it beneath him to dismount on the road and make the humblest wayside farmer disgorge threepence, or less, if he had it on him. The farmer, for his part, would take this imposition as a matter of course ; nor would he give a thank-you if, having witnessed the affair, one had set oneself to give him redress. He would simply deny that he had parted with an)i:hing and deliberately obstruct the covuse of justice in his own interest ! For it is almost useless trying to help the oppressed, because the oppressed themselves only recognize two classes of mortal : the big man who, by the law of " Right is Might," is entitled to pinch anj^thing he can — and is a fool if he doesn't; and the little man, who was ordained by fate to be robbed — and is a fool if he kicks against the pricks and complains to the white man, thereby storing up a worse hell for himself afterwards than if he had kept his mouth shut.

I once quoted an example of " Kanuri-ism " in an official report which amused Tamsie. One of the Shehu's many opportunist brothers, hereinafter

BORNU 103

named Bello,^ once " fined " a peasant eighteen shillings for saluting the Medical Officer. " / am your master," said Bello. Had the victim been fined double the amount for not saluting the white man he would have paid up with the same glorious complaisance !

The peasant Kanuri is fair game, not only in the eyes of others, but in his own.

One day two of these unfortunates were walking past the Native Hospital with their loads. Out stepped a trio of Hausa patients. " Ah, here come two Kanuri," said one of them ; "we will take their loads." Which they proceeded to do, nemine contradicente, as they might have unloaded donkeys. " Not guilty ! " was their plea in Court ; " they were only Kanuri ! "

The Sarakuna, of course, knew their peasantry, and filled their pockets accordingly. There was only one honest native in Bomu — the late el Imaum. But, big or little, the Kanuri were all desperate liars — some clever, the majority transparent and futile.

As an example of the former I may quote the late-lamented Sanda Laminomi, District Head of Magumeri, a handsome and attractive old rogue, of very independent disposition, who, if I upbraided him too freely, used to shout : " Dani duwo ! " ^ He had been escorting me round his district, and was getting very bored with me and my (to him) quite unnecessary anxiety to locate and map all his tax-units. In due course I asked him to conduct me to Ardoram, a unit on the far edge 1 Vide p. 130. 2 " That'll do ! Leave off ! "

104 KANURI FINESSE

of his district. Having arrived and plotted it into my map, I bade him good-bye, and departed to the next district. Several months afterwards I had occasion to revisit this particular unit, and on reaching our objective I exclaimed : " But this is not Ardoram ! "

" Yes, it is," replied Sanda's messenger.

" But," I said, " Sanda himself took me to Ardoram, and it was quite a different place ! "

" That is so," explained the trembling messenger ; " but, when we reached that town, Sanda was tired, the way was long, and night was upon us, where- fore Sanda said : ' We will tell the Judge that this is Ardoram ! ' "

The average Kanuri lie was so involved, profitless, and generally devoid of beginning or end, that it was waste of time to attempt to disentangle it. Benton, whose gentle bearing was most misleading to the unsuspicious, claims two — and only two — triumphs over Kanuri-ism during his ten years' sojourn among the stupide mendaces, to adapt a phrase. I will relate them in his own words :

A man came in to complain of extortion. According to his yarn an unkno\\Ti man had come to his village at ten o'clock at night, awakened him and told him there was an European on the road some distance off who was camping in the bush and wanted ten pots full of water. Not unnaturally the villager paid him 10s. to go away and get the water elsewhere. After waiting a fortnight so as to ensure that there should be no possible chance of catching the offender, he came in and laid his complaint. As it happened I was not very busy that morning, and I saw a chance of a little amusement. I asked him as casually as I could, " Did you believe

BORNU 105

this story of there being an European in the vicinity ? " He considered the question carefully and with true Kanuri cunning spotted the catch. He would not answer the question at first, thought perhaps he had overestimated the importance of his loss, and on reflection hardly liked to trouble me further about the matter. I lit a pipe and said to Nyako,^ " Go on, rout it out of him ! " With a sardonic smile, old camel-face got down to it. After many useless evasions and an interrogatory of about ten minutes, the man sulkily replied, " No, I did not believe there was an European there." "Then why did you pay the man ten shillings ? " said I. In a despairing voice and with an imploring look at Nyako and me, he replied, "As a matter of fact, I was lying ; I did believe there was an European there." With a fine assumption of virtuous indignation I then demanded in a voice of thunder, " Then what the blazes do you mean by refusing hospitality to a white man ? " Screams of delight from ot ttoAAoi, who had edged round the corner of the office to hear the fun. Of course we never caught the culprit ; with a fortnight's start it was not likely we should.

Some thieves visited the station one night, but were disturbed and fled, leaving some clothes behind them, partly their own and partly stolen ones. Later on they were arrested in the town under suspicious circumstances and were brought up to me for preliminary examination. A go^vn and trousers which were among the clothes left behind were said, on rather doubtful evidence, to belong to one of the thieves. He, however, stoutly denied that they were his. I asked him where he was on the night in question. He said he was sleeping in his house with his wife. I remanded him and sent for the wife. Like a dutiful spouse she swore blind that her husband had never left her side on that night, when by a peculiar coincidence she had suffered from insomnia ! I cross-

^ Benton's interpreter.

106 CAUGHT !

questioned her at great length but without avail. With a weary sigh, I said to Nyako, " I fear she's defeated us." The woman grasped the meaning of my remark quick enough, though of course she could not under- stand the words. A complacent look passed over her face as I told her she could go. Just as she was leaving the office, I called to Nyako, " Tell her she had better take her husband's things out of that pile in this corner there." The woman went straight to the heap and picked out the suspected gown and trousers. A delighted grin spread itself over Nyako's face. She saw her mistake instantly, burst into tears, and called Allah to witness that none of the things belonged to her husband. But it was too late. I thought at the time, and still think, that my little ruse was quite legitimate, but McClintock was tender-hearted, thought it was hardly playing the game, and the thief was not convicted.

CHAPTER VII

BORNU — continued

At Ngabarawa^ in Magumeri District, I shot a fine Senegal hartebeest ; and another at Ngubala, which, being only wounded in the first instance, was chased to a standstill by " Jinks," a bitch which George had handed over to me, and " Piccin." Poor little " Piccin " was lost after this, and eventually found curled up, in her effort to get cool, round a chatty (!) in the rest-house we had left that morning.

From Busugua I passed to Gusumala District, where to my intense satisfaction I shot a Dama gazelle (" farin gindi "). There are only two other places in Nigeria,^ I believe, where these are found, namely, Lake Chad, where they are " forbidden fruit," and Borgo. I doubt if any white man had ever been to that corner of Gusu- mala before, and, for my own part, I never want to go there again, for the burrs, or " kerangia," were imbearable. I looked more like a glorified thistle than anything else after my day's shooting.

Thence to Kanembu District, where I pitched my camp at Kukawa, the old capital and burying- place of the Shehus and Kauwa in turn. From

1 And outside Nigeria, only rarely in Senegal and Gambia (H. N. Thompson).

107

108 LAKE CHAD

here on October 19th I paid my first visit to Lake Chad. I slept under some trees half way, and was driven by the mosquitoes into my mosquito- net for the night at 5.30, without daring to have any food passed in ! Next morning, after passing animals of every sort and kind enjoying the sanctity of the Reserve, and positively obtruding their immimity upon me, I made the Lake at nine o'clock. After a bath in its fetid waters, I sat in a reed canoe, ate fresh fish speared by the Budumas and a tin of logan-berries, gave thanks to the Lord that I had seen Chad, and got away as fast as I could. Chad is the lodestar of every Nigerian traveller ; and the Editor of the Sporting Times was kind enough to publish a little outburst I submitted to that paper imder the influence of the moment, which ended thus : —

The Greeks from their sepulchres rise and are glad : Aiid are shouting : " Thalassa ! " with thee to Lake Chad.

Had those warriors accompanied me one stanza further, and joined me in my slimy bath, they would have retreated disillusioned by double parasangs to their graves, and remained there !

Having completed a lengthy report on the land- tenure peculiar to Kanembu, and gradually work- ing my way through Mongonu, IMarte, and Kon- duga, where I had some very exciting roimding up of Shuwa and Beleni stock, I arrived back at Maiduguri a day or two before Christmas. I had only seen one white man during five and a half months' travel, and, my temper having been sorely tried by the evasions of the Shuwa

^. -r I - I -i.

A " FARIN GINDI.

BUDUMA CANOKS ON LAKE CHAD.

BORNU 109

Arabs, whose one visible object in life was to make a convenience of British territory in the wet season and of German in the dry, but to settle their liabilities with neither, I was heartily glad to be back again. ^

Knox had been relieved as O.C. Troops by Aubin, a very musical officer, who enlivened our Christmas dinner in Benton's bungalow with dance and song. Thompson had gone home, and I missed the jaunt with him down to the " Dirimari," or Leper Camp, which was one of his great hobbies, and afforded me a lot of quiet amusement. The wrangling between two lepers as to who was the " headman " of the " row " (both having about two months to live) ; indignant women shaking their stumps of fists at Thompson because he had handed over their children to foster-mothers ^ ; the escapes and returns, etc., were all a fruitful som'ce of interest.

After a rest of about a fortnight I sallied forth again to assess my last district, Marghi ^ and Chibok. * Marghi was an independent State, administered at this time temporarily by one of the Shehu's " kachellas," one of the stupidest and most dishonest men it has ever been my lot

^ I have since been assured by Bornu scholars that these Arabs are (a) " the only class that really ought to count in Bornu," (b) " quite good fellows." I may have misjudged them.

2 It is a curious fact that these lepers used to intermarry ; and their children, weaned after a fortnight, grew up entirely free from the disease.

^ Vide Notes on Nigerian Tribes and Emirates p. 271 (O. Temple).

* Vide ibid., p. 86.

110 THE SNUFF-FOLK OF CHIBOK

to , deal with. The Marghis, on the other hand, were a pleasant relief after the Kanuris. Truculent and quick-tempered, they were at the same time hard workers, intelligent, and absolutely straight- forward. It was a ticklish proposition applying the Thomson assessment scheme to these raw pagans, and a matter of speculation how they would receive it. As a matter of fact there was not the slightest trouble as far as the Marghis were concerned, and it was not till I tackled the Chibok sub- district that I met with opposition.

The Chiboks were a most unsatisfactory crowd to handle. Of an evening they would come to me in a state more or less of intoxication, cheerfully tell me they quite grasped what I wanted, and say they would pay anything I liked to demand. In the morning, however, when I returned their call, either they would vanish, or the few who were left would be so befogged with snuff that I could get no sense out of them. After some days of this parleying without getting any for- warder, I had to intimate to them pretty clearly that I should be constrained to reintroduce them to the troops (who under Wolseley had already dislodged them from their fastnesses on Chibok Hill ^) if they did not give my staff facilities for making the census, and collecting the data I required.

In the meantime I undertook a very arduous

trek along the Yola-Bornu boundary eastward to

the Cameroon border, having received instructions

to elucidate a territorial dispute in co-operation

1 The siege of Chibok is an old and well-known story.

BORNU 111

with Acland from the Yola side. He, however, was taken ill, and I had to make my investigations single-handed.

I returned to Chibok in time to witness the obsequies of an old man, whose age I was informed on good authority was 126. The people quoted the various historical landmarks by which they had arrived at this calculation.

One of them tickled me immensely. Seven years ago, they told me, when he was " only 119 " (sic), the " Judgie Dumboa " ^ had had him deported from his own village to Chibok, as being a turbulent character and a danger to the community !

A solemn lying-in-state was held : the venerable patriarch was decked in a pair of dirty red trousers, and his young widow, aged eighty, set to fan his mortal remains, while the crowd drank " pito," and danced round them. At dusk a grave was prepared, and the senior " elder " chanted a drunken dirge, as the deceased was lowered into his last resting-place. At intervals the dirge would die away to a sort of murmured incantation, while the elder performed what I took to be analogous to our own rite of " earth to earth " — for, after our own fashion, he dropped something into the grave three times. As a matter of fact I learnt afterv/ards that it was not earth but thorns, and the interpretation of his mumblings was somewhat as follows : " God put a fence between you and us : your days are finished, and with them vanish many secrets of the past : 1 George Seccombe.

112 ON PATROL

rest behind the fence in peace, and do not return to disturb us ! " Laying the ghost, in fact.

My hint about troops had been effectual in the case of Chibok village itself, and one or two others ; but the remaining imits gradually got quite out of hand, and I therefore reluctantly sent in for an escort to help me enforce orders. I received word back that Lieut. Crosbie and thirty-five rank and file were being shortly dispatched from Maiduguri. To my surprise and gratification, a few days afterwards, who should turn up but Dudley Crosbie, an old schoolmate of mine both at Winchester and at Jack le Fleming's cramming establishment at Tonbridge !

After much bucking about old days, w^e pro- ceeded to round up the recalcitrant villages with the usual masatisfactory results. The inhabitants would neither parley, nor come to terms, nor fight. They simply effaced themselves, and left us to collar sufficient grain to cover the tax due in each case, plus a salutary fine. We realized this grain at the current price of Is. per 8 saas.^ At only one village did we meet with stout resis- tance, and this was in the shape of an old lady, who used the most shocking language, and resolutely declined to be dislodged from her settee of cornstalks, to Avhich she glued herself tenaciously till she was pulled off, Avhen it was found that she had been sitting upon some twenty quivers and one hundred odd poisoned arrows. These were destroyed, to her intense indignation.

* 1 saa = 25 lbs. {ctrc.) a very different price to that of the famine year of 1913-14, uhen at Gcidam 1 saa fetched Ss. !

A KANUKI WOMAN.

BORNU 113

There had been some unrest along the East Marghi- German boundary ; and Crosbie had been asked by Mr. Hewby to return by that route, and show himself with the troops. On arrival at Mulgwe news was brought to me of a robbery of donkeys by some ruffians at Mudube, a town right up against the German border.

An extract from my diary on the action taken by us may not be without interest.

I was met by the Native Court, who informed me that the mburma of Mudube was " wanted '* for the theft of four donkeys, and that repeated summonses during the last two months to appear at their court had been disregarded by him : and any attempt to arrest was frustrated by his slipping across the boundary, which he had done periodically with the donkeys.

2. I therefore asked Lieut. Crosbie to push on with me to Mudube in the rather forlorn hope of surrounding and surprising the town, and then arresting the delinquent. The chance of our succeeding in this depended on the fact that when I visited Mulgwe ten days previously, I had sent Musa to Mudube to get information as to the farming, population, migrations, etc., and I therefore hoped that by sending Musa on slightly in advance again on this occasion, to engage the mburma in conversation, we might disarm his suspicion, and close in upon him before he was aware of our presence.

3. We started for Mudube accordingly at 1.30, taking the Native Court with us. On arriving within twenty minutes of the town, Musa went on ahead, and Lieut. Crosbie sent ten men (accompanied by Malam Kachella for purposes of identification) to flank the north and west of the town, while he proceeded himself with the remainder of the troops to line the river on the east and south in order to intercept the mburma, should he try to escape to German soil. The labourers, camp-followers,

8

lU THE LESSON OF ISGE

etc., were ordered to remain behind with Courier Idrisa.

4. Meanwhile Musa called the mburma, and told him that I should be visiting his town, and should require a rumpah under the big tree adjacent to his compound. They went towards the tree, when Musa said in Hausa to Malam Kachella, who had now come up, " This is the man." Malam Kachella started to speak to him, and at that moment the mburma caught sight of the soldiers, and made to run away. Malam Kachella imme- diately closed with him, but the man broke loose, leaving his cloth behind, jumped a fence, ran into a house, and seized a spear. He then made for the river, stopping to hurl the spear at Malam Kachella — whereupon Musa threw his spear at him. The man picked it up, and hurled it at Musa, luckily missing him. By this time they were within fifty yards of the boundary, and the troops now opened fire, and killed him.

5. Meanwhile, two of the mburma's party were letting fly arrows at Mr. Crosbie's men in the river-bed, who succeeded in killing one, the other escaping wounded into German territory. Nothing further occurred, except for a half-hearted advance of about twenty fugitives armed with spears in the direction of the carriers — but these were easily turned by Idrisa firing a shot from his carbine. We then pitched camp, and food was brought by the very few inhabitants who had not run away. Three donkeys were found in the mburma's quarters, and these were duly handed over by the Native Court to the victim of the robbery : so that our object was doubly aclaieved, and a lesson taught to these people, of which the robbers of Isge may well take note, namely, that though they live right on the edge of the river, this boundary is not an infallible means of escape from the consequences of their depredations.

6. It was a prompt performance on the part of Crosbie, and the whole arrangement exactly timed so as to effect a thorough surprise — no easy matter in a country where

BORNU 115

news travels so rapidly, and especially where sanctuary is a matter of two hundred yards away.

As an illustration of the cheery habits of the good people of Mudube, I may mention, en passant, that in one of the huts near which we slept that night we found a man (who had presumably annoyed some neighbour) lying with an iron spike through his brain. On his body, peacefully sleeping, was curled up a pie dog !

From Mudube we made tracks for Mainta Maleri — a long trek of thirty odd miles through waterless bush. We decided to go our ways, each taking one side of the road, have a shoot, and join up again later at a certain pool, about which our guide told us. The guide decamped, and we failed to find either the pool or each other that night !

After shooting a roan about ten o'clock, I worked my way back to the road, and eventually struck the main body of our convoy. Having fired off my rifle several times to let Crosbie know where we were, I then moved slowly forward. At 6 p.m., being beat to the world, and not having seen water since the early morning, I decided to camp for the night. A sparklet syphon half full was all I had left in the way of liquor. This I gulped down, and turned in. The labourers, etc., were nearly mad with thirst, and we had not the faintest idea where we were, or how far from the nearest water.

At 2 a.m. some nomad Fulani strayed through our camp, and one of them volunteered to guide

116 ** BUSHED"

us to Mainta Maleri, where, to my great relief, we arrived at nine o'clock next morning, and found Crosbie tattered, begrimed, and in the last stages of exhaustion. He had somehow wandered into German territory, struck a small hamlet, and, regardless of consequences, drunk a huge draught of filthy stagnant water — ^fortunately with no evil effects. From there he had been con- ducted to Mainta Maleri, and reached it about the same time as myself. He had shot a fine reed-buck during his wanderings. Thence we passed through Konduga District, and back once more to Maiduguri.

I omitted to mention that from Marghi I had written to Mr. Hewby, " having the honour to remind him that my tour expired on the 3rd prox. (March) " ; to which I received the characteristic reply : " Yes, but you write as if you had to catch a particular train — ^which as far as I know is not the case." I now received another little rebuff, the quiet humour of which amply compen- sated for the shock to my vanity. In my report on Marghi I had shouted " Heureka ! " and announced that I had traced the connection between the Huyam River and a small mysterious stream running into Alo Lake — " a feature," I wrote, " hitherto imdiscovered." To which the Caustic One, in a marginal comment : " Except by me in 1904.— TF. P. Hr

George had now arrived, and was to relieve me. George was a great little person. I found him enveloped in maps, plans, and harness. A large brandy and soda was by his side, his hair was

BORNU 117

slightly on end, and he was engaged on the com- pilation of a one over a million map of the pro- vince. " Look here, Harry, I ask you ! " he cried as I walked in, " on the top of this map, which is the devil's own sweat, Hewby has told me to have two plans of the station ready for to-morrow's mail. It simply can't be done, and (helping himself to another wee brandy) I'm damned if I do it ! " " Quite right, George," I replied, " you keep your end up ! "

Next morning at about six o'clock, peering out from my house in the fort, I descried George puffing and blowing, and laden with survey paraphernalia. " Sanu, George ! " I called ; " up betimes ! What's afoot ? "

" No, don't humbug me, for goodness' sake, Harry ! " he replied, " I've got to get these two damned plans off for Hewby by to-day's mail ! " Hewby, like Parnell, could always get the last ounce out of his men, because, like Parnell, he never asked them to do what he would not have done himself. George, like Tom Davitt, Kickham, and Pat Egan, had forgotten his over- night threats.!

Polo had been started at Maiduguri for the first time, and the Lake Chad Polo Club formed. George, who had got it going, had the best horses and was far the best player. There not being enough Europeans, some of the most promising native N.C.O.'s were mounted and taught the game — as far as we, ourselves only learners, could teach them ; and, from that time forward, polo ^ I promised George (but not on oath !) not to publish this.

118 POLO AND PONY-TRAP

flourished. Even if there were only one or two white men available. Pa Benton made a practice, and a very good one too, of keeping the game going regularly two or three times a week. The natives, though they called it " aiki," got as keen on it as we were. Later on we had great matches — Black V. White, which aroused keen enthusiasm. Tlie former had the best eye, and hit the hardest, but lacked the brain-play and combination ; so that the sides were pretty even.

By the end of March I had completed a tour of fifteen very strenuous months, incessantly trekking, and having slept at over three hundred different towns all told ; and I felt too thoroughly weary to face the long twenty-four days' journey back to Kano on a horse. So I bought George's spare light trap and horse for £25, and trusted to being able to re-sell it at Kano.

The road between Geidam and Maiduguri was appallingly sandy, and the going so severe a strain on the horse, that one could only go at walking pace most of the way. After Geidam, however, it got a bit better, and also, as a relief horse, I bought the famous " Danda," ^ whom I put straight between the shafts, and drove without any breaking !

Tlie trek to Kano via Katagum was imeventful, save for an encounter with a womided wart-hog, whose onslaught Bisalla bravely received with a

* A piebald, who subsequently must have covered almost all the possible mileage in the Protectorate. I used to drive him to the polo-ground, ride him in two chukkers, and then drive him back !

A LAKE CHAD POLO-CLUB GROUP.

MV (later DE P.'s) TRAP.

BORNU 119

spear. He cantered the whole of those twenty- four days behind my trap on his sturdy little horse with a dropped hip !

At Debbe I fell in with a French Medical Officer from the Territoire Militaire, and we had an amusing little dinner, at which we were joined by Cook, of the M.I. The latter had had a strenuous shoot in the afternoon sun, and developed a proportionate thirst. Towards the end of the meal he turned to the Frenchman, and somewhat startled us by asking :

" When are you going to have a king ? "

" Ah, mais qu'est-ce que vous dites la, M'sieur ? " politely replied our guest.

" My dear old bird," persisted Cook, " it's no good, you've got to have a king ! "

" Mais 9a, par exemple, ca ne s'arrangera pas sans qu "

" Look here, it's got to come, I tell you ! And the sooner the better ! " And in this he persisted till he became somnolent, and finally slept.

" Monsieur est tres fatigue," I lamely tried to explain to my French friend, *' il ne veut pas dire serieusement que "

" Ah, mais pas de qoui, c'est entendu. Mon- sieur ! Sans doute le soleil "

" Parfaitement ! " I replied, grasping the straw. Monsieur and I had many a laugh about this afterwards when we came to laiow each other better, as we did when we renewed our acquaintance later on in the ship.

At Zaria I met the accommodating Sainsbiu-y, sold him my trap, and thanked him in a few

120 AN EXPERIMENT

well-chosen words for his kindness in taking my roan-head as far as Kano.^ He received it very kindly, and did not allow it to worry him at all. Early in May I reached Lagos, and embarked, together with " Piccin " and Bisalla, whom I had settled to take to England, on the Akdbo (Captain Davis). We reached England at the end of May, and Bisalla got his first introduction to the eccentricities of the white man's life in that country during our stay for two or three days at Plymouth as guests of my brother Claude on his ship, H.M.S. Powerful, which happened to be at this port. Any homesickness he might have been suffering from at first was quickly dispelled by the cheery naval atmosphere, and a present from my brother of a suit of navy blue made by the ship's tailor.

1 Vide p. 100.

CHAPTER VIII B ORNU — continued

BiSALLA, during his five months' stay in England, had seen and done many things. He had fallen out of a motor unscathed ; he had been cautioned by the village constable for riding a bicycle without his hands between two passing motor-vans to the public danger, and accused by the same official of arson — in that he had set fire to a certain gate with a certain explosive, to wit, a squib. The former charge he had parried airily with the defence that the alleged danger was entirely his own, the latter with a request to be handed the Koran. The logic of the first, and the significance of the second, having entirely baffled the earnest constable, the charges were not proceeded with.

He had watched aeroplanes with the utmost unconcern, and caddied on all the local links, as if it had been his vocation from birth.^ He had seen a circus, the only indication as to his attitude to which was his remark that he supposed the clown who slowly took off fourteen pairs of socks in suc- cession, was an Emir, and an aggrieved comment

1 He distinguished himself his first time out on the links. I had called to my opponent inquiring his score, and received the reply " Three ! " Whereat voice from Bisalla : " Haba ! Fudu ! "

121

122 BISALLA AT A CIRCUS

to the effect that the emergency net, spread beneath the acrobats in their trapeze act, was a " fool thing," since it prevented them from hurting themselves, and so rendered the performance point- less. The horse that harnessed itself, the elephants who " passed chop," and the sea-lions who juggled with lighted candles he accepted as mere white men's freaks.

He had also been to church, and observed afterwards that he had paid threepence both at the church and at the circus, but whereas one was good value, the other was " kurdin banza." ^

For my own part I kept up my Hausa, and found it not unpleasant to be able to shout : " Boy, do this or that," in the same jolly old way, instead of ringing the bell and asking Emily " if she would mind just bringing my boots," etc. As I have said in a previous chapter, no " girman kai " ^ ensued, and, in fact, he has scarcely ever alluded to his English trip since, except when the subject has been raised by me.

Which things having been accomplished, as Caesar says, we embarked on board the Appam,^ (Captain Harrison) and sailed again on Octo- ber 15th. This was the first time I had travelled on one of the new boats, and calling at La Pellice and Teneriffe was also a fresh experience. It was on this voyage, in case there is anyone in Gath who knoweth it not, that a gentleman who shall be nameless boldly inscribed himself upon

1 Waste of money. ^ Swollen head.

^ This boat was afterwards captured by the German raider Moewe.

BORNU 123

the bath list for " Wednesdays and Fridays only," whereupon others instantly took courage, and their pens, and wrote down likewise.

B-bank was on board, and hastening out to Kano for a stay of one week, to return in record time by a series of boats, via, I think, Dakar and Barcelona ! I arranged to buy a light pony- trap from him on arrival at Kano — mainly to save " Piccin " that weary trek of twenty-four days in a box. Alas ! she was not destined to reach Kano. Being very seedy, I was sleeping on a settee in the boat-train with " Piccin " curled up by my side. I was suddenly awakened by Bisalla, who had gallantly fought his way along the whole length of the train and was asking me whether " Piccin " was with me, as an Arab had seen a white man's dog on the line. A sickening feeling came over me as I realized, after a futile search, that she must have fallen from the train — ^how, I never discovered.

I was too ill to do much myself, but on arrival at Zungeru, Sheriff, the Traffic Superintendent, promised to send a trolley back down the line, and I left Bisalla behind to go with it. I also offered rewards, and wired to everybody who could possibly assist me, without avail. All I ever learnt was that a clerk had seen her running along the line, and, greedy for the reward, had given violent chase, instead of gently calling her. Being a terribly sensitive bitch, she had diverged into the bush, and that was the last that was ever heard of her.

No one who has never become entirely dependent

124 THE TRAGEDY OF ** PIGCIN "

on a dog for company for months at a stretch in the lonely, depressing outposts of Beyond can possibly realize what a shock this loss was to me. Only half an hour or so before the tragedy, Mrs. Guggisburg, who had seen me sitting on the edge of my seat to make room for " Piccin " to get comfortable, had chaffed me with the remark, " I believe you'd do more for that dog than you would for a woman."

For three tours and as many leaves she had been my devoted little companion, and the thought of her probable fate made me quite sick. Even now I hate to dwell on it. How I missed the sweet cold nose pushed through the mosquito- net begging me to get up of a morning, and the secret plots and plans for the day's hunting whis- pered into the ears of " Jinks." For many a day afterwards I would instinctively put aside the " cutleg " bones, and then, with a chill, remember. It was indeed with a heavy heart that I set out in my trap for Bornu.

At Katagum I found Francis and Wightwick. The former, having just arrived and taken over, had been suddenly ordered to hand over again to Wightwick, and return to Zaria. These changes of mind on the part of the powers that be, were quite the order of the day. The little matter of cost of extra transport over a few hundreds of miles, wear and tear of kit, and losses in swamp and river, were a subject of supreme unconcern to the " O.C. Dispositions " at Aiki Square.^

^ So called because all the real work is done there (vide Chapter V).

" piccin'

THE START FROM GEIDAM FOR GUJBA.

BORNU 125

As for the waste of time, as I have said before, the supply of Government time is — Uke Lux — unshrinkable.

The following tour, for instance, the officer whom I had relieved at Numan had been there exactly ten days when he was recalled to Bauchi, and had to return over the two hundred and forty or so miles which he had traversed from Bauchi — in other words, a waste of thirty-two days all told on the road. During the same year an officer who had served the previous tour in Sokoto ^ and left a quantity of kit there, on arrival back in the country found himself posted to Benin City,^ whither it was proposed that he should

transfer the said kit at his own : but my lips

are sealed on matters controversial !

We all dined with Francis that night, and of that party three of us were destined to sail on the Falaba on her last voyage — Francis, myself, and Silcock, who was drowned. At dinner I thought I behaved like a perfect gentleman, but Francis has since told a story about a bull terrier and Bombay duck, from which it appears that I said — but it is his story, not mine, so I will not retail it. I do not care for Bombay duck, and there's an end of it.

Near Juwor I came across a very fine wart- hog, and leaving the trap in charge of a labourer, I went off after it and secured it. On my return I found that the labourer had let go of the reins, and " Danda " had careered off the whole way to Jawa, the next camp. The wonderful part

^ Vide map.

126 THE HYENA SCORES

about it was, that despite the badness and narrow- ness of the track, the trap was undamaged.

At Geidam I found George Seccombe, from whom I took over again, Hastings, Sainsbury, and Davis the doctor. There was real good polo, under the segis of the M.I., Lane ^ and Longbourne ^ being experts, and Drummond ^ almost international form. They were not there long, however, being relieved by Lambert ^ and Austin, and the new company. The troops, after their prolonged spell at Geidam, had nearly all had eye trouble of some sort, caused by the dust and sand which is so trying a feature of Bornu.

There was excellent shooting round the station, and one night I shot a couple of bush-pig and placed them as bait for hyena. Lambert, Davis, and I arranged to have dinner at the edge of the " fadama," and then quietly take up our posi- tions and wait for the quarry. We had a most cheery dinner, and then took our places near the carcasses as arranged. After about half an hour's waiting I could stick it no longer, and suggested in a whisper to my somnolent companions that we should give it up. This was carried unani- mously. Examining the bait, we found that while we had been having our chop, the hyenas had had theirs, and made a very sorry spectacle of the pigs.

George, Davis, and I had great fun of an evening with the guinea-fowl and duck, though the latter were very expensive in cartridges.

Christmas night was a very riotous affair. The ^ Killed in France. ^ Killed in Gallipoli.

BORNU 127

accomplished Sainsbury challenged us all to shoot threepenny-bits in the moonlight with revolvers, did step dances, and finally rode his horse " Digma " (previously warned off the polo ground for mis- behaviour) up the steps and through Hastings's bungalow. The last rite I remember performing that evening was pouring beer down one end of a hunting horn while George endeavoured to blow calls up the other.

Next morning George departed for Maiduguri with his trap, his dogs, his horses, and everything else that was his for the more edifying occupation of sweating up Hausa, while Hastings departed to Kano for his Higher Standard, and home.

A few days after I left for Gujba, along one of the worst and most waterless roads I have ever traversed. Very welcome was the hospitality pro- vided for me by Hopkinson, generally known as " Hoppy," on my arrival. He left next day to assess the parts about Biu.

An extract from his subsequent assessment report I cannot refrain from quoting for the guidance of those to come. " After my messen- gers had duly assessed and collected the tax . . . they were murdered " ! The italics are mine ; the exclamation was Tamsie's when he read the paragraph.

I had some most enjoyable shooting in the fadama near Gujba, including guinea-fowl, mara- bout, reed-buck, and " derri " (Senegal hartebeest). Of an evening I was entertained by the local " magic " man, who circumscribed himself with cobras, swallowed needles, and laid eggs.

128 FAMINE

From Gujba I diverged to Dumboa, and after a short sojourn there arrived in Maiduguri. Hewby had left for good, and Tamsie reigned in his stead. I have already done the latter less than justice in the appreciation to which I referred in Chap- ter VI ; but, as I do not wish to be fulsome, I leave it at that, save to add that he was the whitest man, the soundest officer, and my greatest friend in the country.

The country was in the grip of famine.

It had rained twice during the year 1913 : grain at Geidam had risen to as much as 8s. per saa : the population, normally dependent on the millet crop for their daily bread, were starving and dying like flies. Wholesale migration was the order of the day, and famished peasants were breaking up the very ant-heaps in a frenzied endeavour to avail themselves of the granaries of the ants.

Tamsie was at his wits' end how to cope with the state of affairs, when salvation suddenly pre- sented itself. He afterwards gave me credit for the idea, but I always thought the brain-wave occurred to us both over one of his gin and kola cocktails.

It was an open secret that the sarakuna and " big men " of Bornu made a practice of hoarding immense quantities of corn in their compounds, not, like Joseph, from any forethought for the future, but simply as a token of wealth, much as the rich man nearer home likes to boast a fine cellar or expensive pictures.

It was now suggested to the Shehu that these

BORNU 129

noblemen should disgorge their stores, and week by week take turns to put upon the markets a supply sufficient to meet the essential requirements of the station and the neighbourhood. Then when the 1914 crop was harvested, and the grain market normal again, a proportion of the tax due from the fertile districts round Gujba and Marghi should be levied in the shape of " zakka " ^ instead of cash, and these magnates given their choice of taking a settlement in money if grain was cheap, or in kind if it was dear. They were on a winner, so to speak, in either case, since at the worst they would be getting new grain for old.

As soon as they grasped how they stood they welcomed the scheme with fervour. There was only one thing against it — another failure, but this was very unlikely. Moreover, the malamai happily prophesied a year of plenty. The scheme was acted upon, a careful account kept, and the situa- tion more or less saved. I say more or less, because even so the price was severe, and the demand still far exceeded the supply. Every Wednesday the Shehu stocked a specially erected barricade with grain for the paupers of Shehuri and Maidu- guri, and horrible scenes ensued when the women swarmed round and fought and clawed each other for every handful doled out. Till late at night children could be seen scouring the sand for such particles of grain as might have fallen by the wayside.

It may give some idea of the difficulties with

^ Originally a " tithe " of grain for religious or charitable purposes.

9

130 BELLO'S "OPERATIONS"

which we were faced if I reproduce here some notes on a report I had to submit upon the pecula- tions of a chief whom (in the hopes that he has now mended his ways) we will call Bello.

2. The total amount of grain which appears definitely levied but almost entirely unpaid for, is 12,394, which put at the minimum value of 6d. per saa (N.B. — Corn is now at Is.) represents a cash total of £309 17s. Over and beyond this £98 3s. 9d. in cash was collected from the talakawa under various pretexts. This I consider to be a moderate and minimum statement of Bello's liabili- ties, a host of other complaints outside the list under examination having been brought to my notice, but not sufficiently supported by evidence to warrant active inquiry.

3. As far as the grain is concerned, Be]lo himself is undoubtedly the principal : but was probably backed throughout by his elder brother, whose generous assis- tance in putting his granaries at the former's disposal was not entirely disinterested. Taking advantage between them of the order to supply 3,000 saas to the leper camp, they arranged for the grain to be stored at the Shehu's palace ; and whereas 3,000 saas were certainly delivered and £100 paid to Bello in settlement by the Beit-el-Mal, nobody knows what became of the money, or the exact amount of grain actually stored, except the storekeeper, Bello and his brother. Whatever the latter's exact share of the spoils may have been, it was palpably obvious that extortion was going on, and if he did not know it he ought to have done.

4. As for the part played by Bello's boys themselves, in some cases they appear to have been hoodwinked by Bello as to the contributions allotted to the respective towns. E.g. in the case of Go, whereas he informed the Resident the amount was 300 saas, he instructed his boy Maikurgum to collect 700. In other cases the amount tallied with the list submitted to the Resident, and the

BORNU 131

boys forced up the levy on their own. The unfortunates who could not produce sufficient grain to satisfy Bello's greed, were made to supply animal transport, while those who could produce neither had to make good in dollars.

5. The cash extorted went partly to Bello direct, but for the most part were connived at by him as reasonable remuneration to the boys for their trouble in collecting the corn. The countless cases given in all their detail would fill pages, but a few of the methods by which cash was raised may be quoted, as illustrating the credulity of the helpless Kanuri. Bello, but in most cases his boy, would appear and say : —

(a) The grain was found on unloading to be short,

and a small contribution would square the defi- ciency.

(b) Owing to the market corn having arrived late, the

Resident was angry, and there would be trouble for the talakawa unless they paid so much for Bello to intercede.

(c) Abba Bello was coming to camp, but could be

persuaded for £l to camp elsewhere.

(d) As they possessed no bullocks to carry the corn,

the cash equivalent would meet the case.

(e) On payment of so much the saas should be measured

in " economic sized drums " ! Etc., etc.

There were other cases, quite unconnected with the delivery of grain, in which these boys arrogated to them- selves the role of itinerant judges, and fined one man 15s. for assault, another £2 for bush-burning, and another 18s. for saluting the Medical Officer in the presence of Bello.

6. The Kanuri is ready to buy peace with his Ajia at any price, and as explained in Resident Bornu's Quarterly Report, owing to the conduct of the Shehu it was neces-

132 BELLO'S "OPERATIONS"

sary, with the district already disorganized and harassed by Bello's rogues, to assure the talakawa in the course of collecting information that they should not be dragged in to give evidence, and therefore it has not been found possible to secure the conviction of all the fifteen odd boys concerned. Fortunately, however, a clear case was proved by voluntary witnesses against the principal offender and chief Wakil, Kachella Kaura, whose crime was but one of a series, obvious but not proven, and an exemplary sentence of two years' imprisonment was passed. Guilt on a minor scale having also been brought home to one Maikurgum, whose defence was that the 4s. pocketed from the V. Head of Go was a " fatherly dash " or earnest of goodwill. Unfortunately, at least six other parental contributions of a similar nature are pretty well known to have been paid over in other towns to this importunate " son."

7. For the reasons given it is necessary to deal with the affair administratively, and it is not easy to recom- mend what is the most satisfactory course to pursue. It is a disgusting reflection that the one district of all others which could have been depended on to meet the demands of most of the population of Bornu, should have been exploited by Bello for his own ends, and the peasantry hunted and bled till they were driven to con- cealing the existence of grain, instead of pushing its dis- tribution. The result is impossible prices and hunger. It is an easy matter, however, to depose Ajias, but not so to replace them : and Bello's record in Yajua has not hitherto been an entirely bad one. Such an opportunity for filling his pockets would have been unfailingly seized by any other Ajia in his shoes. At the same time his immediate return to the district would be highly im- politic, since it would be regarded by the Shehu as a triumphant vindication of his repeated assertions that the district cannot get on without Bello, and by the talakawa as a fresh proof of the futility of the weak com- plaining against the strong. If there is no grave objec-

BORNU 133

tion, I would suggest that a respectable representative of the Shehu (if one can be found) be put in as temporary Wakil for four months, assessment postponed for a similar period, and Bello confined to Maiduguri, where more direct contact with Headquarters and proximity to the Political staff may teach him a sense of the difference between meum and tuum. He might then return chas- tened to the collection of his taxes.

8. The return of the boys to renew their misdemeanours, with the added zest of having " bluffed the judge," is out of the question, and they should be entirely replaced on Bello's return if he is allowed to do so. If it is im- pressed upon them that at any moment evidence may crop up, which shall entail their arrest, and trial by Government or Native Court, they may find it wise to remove themselves to other spheres, and so rid Shehuri of a crowd of vagabonds.

9. As to the grain and cash extorted, the statement given of which, as pointed out in paragraph 2, is a very lenient estimate, I would suggest that Bello refund the largest proportion that his salary will allow in cash, and the remainder in grain, up to two -thirds of the total amount ; and that his brother, who has been so anxious to help him throughout, should assist him further by refunding the remaining one-third.

It was in connection with this famine that I had the luck of a lifetime. I have said that wholesale migration was going on. The bulk of the agricultural classes were drifting towards the fertile districts to the north in the precincts of Chad. This terrain afforded great possibilities for irrigated crops, and cotton, tobacco, indigo, etc., already flourished in spasmodic patches north and east of Mongonu. It may be wondered, therefore, why it was only the pros- pect of starvation that had driven the farming

134 ELEPHANTS' GENTLE PRANKS

population to fall back upon such attractive country.

For one thing the mosquito made life unbear- able there. But there was another scourge, which not only frightened the farmer personally, but made farming a rank speculation instead of an investment, namely, elephants. Rejoicing in the immunity they enjoyed,^ these mammals crashed about at pleasure, trampled any farms they hap- pened to encounter into obliteration, and generally put an effective check on any agricultural enter- prise within a radius of, say, eight miles from Chad.

This had frequently been the subject of comment by officers touring Kanembu, but, be it confessed, I used to regard this rather as the protest of the thwarted shikari than a disinterested appeal on behalf of the native. A personal visit to this area, however, very soon proved to me that, if anything, the damage done by these elephants had been understated. The piling of the Pelion of famine on the Ossa of elephantine piracy now made it more than ever imperative that some action should be taken to protect the native, and strong representations were made to Head- quarters. Only a few days previously a rogue elephant, not content with wiping out a cotton farm, had caught the cultivator and crushed him to pulp with its knees.

To my joy Sir Frederick Lugard gave sanction for the killing of one elephant. Tamsie was on tour, and I persuaded Pa Benton to keep the 1 Vide Chapter VII.

BORNU 135

precious news for the former's ears only — for I feared that some of the W.A.F.F. sportsmen might claim a lien on the expedition. Pa, in for- warding the letter, added that " Mr. Langa Langa was available for this purpose." Tamsie, who did not care twopence about shooting, replied that, " if I could make it convenient," I might go — and I did, post haste !

At the camp before Mongonu my dear boys succeeded in getting the flannel round the pull- through wedged firmly in the barrel of my rifle ; and, without a word to me, engaged a blacksmith to force and burn it out with a red-hot iron bar. And this was the weapon ^ on which I was to be dependent for my elephant ! The language I used was quite unreproducible.

As a result of this little episode, it was with some misgiving that, on March 13th at 4.30 a.m. I sallied forth from Kauwa, accompanied by my boy Bella and the local hunterman. At 11 a.m. we were still prowling about some five miles from Chad, without success. Thanking the hunterman for nothing, and turning my back on him with the oath I keep specially for huntermen, I began to make tracks for home. I had barely been twenty minutes on the return journey when the latter dashed up to me, and said that he had sighted our quarry.

I turned and followed him into open country, noticing with some uneasiness that, beyond patches of grass about waist high, there was not a single

1 I had discarded the -303 in favour of the -375 B.S.A. Express this tour.

136 AFTER THEM

bit of cover in the shape of tree or scrub. Nothing presented itself for miles around but very light grass and the uncouth " tumpafia " plant. More- over, I was dog tired, the sun was at its zenith, and conditions generally unfavourable for tackling an elephant.

Suddenly my guide pointed to a vague colourless- looking mass, which so fused itself in its surround- ings that at first I could not discern it at all. As I got nearer and had a look through my glasses, it took shape, and assumed the proportions of a huge elephant — the sentinel, as it transpired, of a herd of seven. Advancing still nearer I was struck by the apparently diminutive size of the tusks, and murmured to the hunterman, " They are only piccins ! " He assured me that this was far from the case, and I did not then fully appreciate how great a portion of the tusk is of course concealed by the lips and embedded in the head. Besides, the Chad elephants are colossal brutes, and their bulk naturally dwarfs their tusks by comparison.

I was now within about 120 yards, crawling on my hands and knees in a small patch of grass. I asked the hunterman whether I dare try and get any nearer, for I was very exhausted, having been over seven hours on the move, and wanted everything in my favour. He knew very little Hausa, however, and I evidently did not convey to him what I wanted to know. He merely got very excited, and began the usual " Gashi ! Gashi ! " 1

1 Vide Chapter IV.

BORNU 137

Being afraid that he would lose his head and give the whole show away, I got into a kneeling posture, and drew a bead on the big bull, who was slightly in advance of the herd, which stood in crescent formation on my right front. I fired, and — whether it was exhaustion that made my hand shake, or a blade of grass that obscured my vision ^ I do not know — apparently missed the whole target ! I could have torn my hair out by the roots, or committed any other form of self-mutilation.

Throwing up their heads they ambled off, and disappeared in a depression of the ground, to reappear shortly afterwards in an almost identical position on my left flank. I was now at a dis- advantage. They were much closer together — and so harder to distinguish — suspicious, and on the move. Worst of all, I was to windward of them. Not daring to delay matters, lest they should clear off — or do something disagreeable — I waited till the big bull showed his head in front again, and took a steady aim (standing this time) between the eye and the ear. The bullet struck home, and he dropped stone dead, and never moved again.

I was not, however, immediately permitted to go and sing Nunc Dimittis over the dead, for the living now engaged my attention unpleasantly. While five of the company dashed off, the seventh turned and came swaying towards me, its great ears flapping like a glorified spaniel's in the breeze. Clutching my arm the hunterman cried : " Mugu ! 1 Vide Chapter IV.

138 THE KILL

Mugu ! Fada gareshi ! Halbe mana, da sauri ! " ^ I mumbled something feeble about the " Governor only agreeing for one elephant," but this observa- tion he clearly did not consider adequate to the emergency, for he shouted more and more violently horrible prophecies about death